The Raw Way

Trips

2009-04-20T21:10:00.000+01:00

It has been a month since my last post and I have been on another long trip, this time in south of France. I have joined a theatre workshop there and met lots of interesting people. It was fun and also lots of work. I was removed from my family, work and daily life I have here in UK and that was very beneficial to me.
I’ve nourished my soul and my body, not always being raw but I was eating very healthy. I even managed to do a one day fast and watching other people eating wasn’t bothering me. I even sat with them at the table and just drunk green tea.
Today I have done another day of fasting as the last one was a week ago. I had a blueberry smoothie at lunch time but it consisted only of fruit and juice. I have been also sipping a mixture of elderflower, red bush and green tea with soya milk.
I’m thinking about doing a week on just liquids. I can’t do any longer as I have another trip in store, this time to New York but only for a week.

New chapter

2009-03-12T21:05:00.001Z

I haven’t been here for a long time and so much has happened!
Italy was wonderful and I have work hard but it was joy. I eat the bread and drunk the wine!!! I slept and dreamt and played and just was.
It was good and now is good too.
I have left polyphasic sleeping behind me and now for a change sleep as much as I can. Life is full of surprises. Yes, that’s true.
I came back from Italy full of mixed ideas about life and it curves and twists and corners. As I was flying in the airplane and looking down at the clouds I thought about ego and earthy possessions, how little I value them now. It doesn’t matter who I’m and what I do.
I have made a wonderful performance in Italy and few years’ back I would have been ecstatic about it but now I was just smiling. It was done and that was it, no big deal.

Now, almost two weeks later I’m still smiling and learning how to laugh. Two days ago I was tearing my hair out being stressed at work but I knew I would be laughing about it later. That’s what I’m doing now.
I have been also much more aware of my body and doing lots of reality checks: do I dream now? Who is the dreamer?
It’s all good because I have also become lighter as I’m able to look at myself and have fun with everything around me. Tomorrow I might cry. That’s part of life and my fickle mind. I’m learning how to get distance to all these earthly problems…I decided to call them challenges.
So here I’m and will be writing again about my encounters with life. Fascinating. What will happen tonight? Last night was full moon and I was trying to get lucid I my dreams and go to Stonehenge for a meeting with my friends. I have a set of friends who are interested in lucid dreaming and out of body experiences. Our aim at the moment is to project from our bodies and meet in the astral at Stonehenge. I managed to become lucid last weekend and even traveled to Stonehenge but forgot that I was supposed to meet my friends there. Well, I’m still learning about my awareness and this is only the beginning of my journeys out of my body.
Anyway I didn’t make it last night but had great dreams. Where will I go tonight?

Italy and super food

2009-02-15T23:01:00.002Z

I'm packed and ready for my Italian adventure. I'm going to stay in a village of Sabina in the arts centre Ozu, near Rome for almost two weeks with 9 young people and make theatre! What a bliss. It's going to be so wonderful as I'm going to create the best time ever for myself and my co-workers.
I've taken some of my raw food with me and I hope not to indulge in Italian cooked food, specially bread. They have amazing bread and that's the only thing left I have difficulties to give up form the cooked shelf. Pasta, rice, cakes, etc. don't bother me at all. Even wine is history now but bread somehow is still lurking there with temptations.

I've made today wonderful, powerful super raw balls. I've mixed together grounded sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds, grounded goji berries, tocotreniols, bee pollen, spirulina, camu camu, lucuma, sprouted linseed with bluberries, maca and yacoon syrup with some water to glue it together. The mixture is amazing! One of these balls a day will give me heaps of energy and satisfaction so I won't be tempted by any other dead food.

I should have easy access to the internet but if not then i won't be able to write here for the next two weeks. Well, I'm creating that access so it will be.

My new sleeping pattern gives me so much power and good feelings. I'm realy rested and still enjoy some extra time. The biggest bonus are the dreams and meditations. I was really struggling to achieve those in the strict polyphasic routine but now with 4h of core sleep I can enjoy more time in altered states. I still keep the naps as now they became meditations. It's great. Sometimes I fall asleep, other times I do affirmations and try to project from my body. I hope with time I will be more skillful and will be able to do astral traveling.
Life is good and and there is so much joy around!
It's time for my core sleep now...but I don't feel tired...

I have been counting my steps every day (I have a little gadget, which I attach to my clothing) and that has been great fun. We suppose to do 1.000 steps a day. I must say it's not that easy.
Today was good.
From 6am this morning till 00.14 (all day Sunday) I've made 10.182 steps=7.33km=307.2kcal
I didn't go for a walk as it was raining and I had lots to do at home but I managed to do 1/2 set of ashtanga yoga.

New phase in polyphasic sleeping

2009-02-15T07:06:00.002Z

The core sleep, which I've embraced a week ago feels great. I feel at times sad that I've abandoned the uberman pattern with just 6 naps in 24h but it was very difficult to manage. My full time work and evening classes/activities didn't leave much time for this regime.
Now I feel more comfortable as the flexibility gives me peace of mind and I don't have to worry about missing some naps or not getting a sleep in others.
I was also missing the dreams and it's recall. The short naps were sometimes blank with no dreams at all and I couldn't allow myself to meditate, as I was worried that I would fall asleep.
Last night I was listening to the meditation tape between 00.30-1.30 and yes I did fell asleep half way through but it didn't matter. I then slept till 4.30 and could recall a great dream on waking up.
I felt rested and fully awake but stayed in bed till 5.30-6am. I was lying in bed for quite a while with open eyes just letting my mind wonder about my latest state of being. There was no trace of sleepiness and that was very welcomed.
For the last two days I have been very active physically so my muscles needed a rest too.
I will still follow the naps at midday, 4pm and 8pm as they are a great way to relax during my busy days.
Right now I'm preparing for my trip to Italy, where I will spend the next two weeks in the mountains near Rome rehearsing a new play.

The power of affirmations

2009-02-10T05:29:00.002Z

I have developed a new pattern of managing sleep right now. I don't know how long it will last but I'm sure it will change soon. Anyway I'm sleeping much longer these days having core sleep between midnight and 3-4am. On top of that I still have all my naps but they are more of a meditations rather than naps. I feel really good on that and don't feel tired at all. I wake up after my core sleep fully rested feeling like I've slept for a long time. It's a good feeling.

During the naps I simply relax and try to project out of my body. Hopefully with practice this will happen. I've managed to do it before so I know how it feels and that it's achievable.
I have been also doing lots of affirmations lately and feel very positive. Yesterday while driving back from work I felt a little bit sluggish so I forced myself to do some affirmations to raise my vibration consciously. The effect was very profound and I was astonished how from feeling quite ordinary and mundane I've managed to raise my vibrations so high that I was almost ecstatic.
When I came home I decided to go for a walk in dark, freezing rain! Anybody would thoink I was crazy! It wasn't a night for walking as the weather was absolutely dreadful. However it didn't matter for me. I was singing in the rain...
I also became more aware of my presence, being an observer. Great feeling and that also happened with constantly repeating that: “I’m more than my body”.
This makes me more and more aware of being in my body rather then being my body. It feels like I’m navigating the body and mind and at the same time observing the results.
Today I’ve received a message from Donald Neal Walsh in my e-mail box:

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know...
....that good health is not the absence of symptoms, it
is the presence of peace.

Do not confuse physical vibrance with spiritual vitality.
You are not your body. Your body is simply a tool.
A magnificent tool, for sure, but nothing more than that.

As with all tools, your body will from time to time need
repair. And one day it will wear down completely.
Your soul will do neither. Not now, not ever. Listen,
therefore, to the whispers of the soul, not the cries of
the body.

You will not have to think but a second to know
exactly why you received this message today.

Beautiful synchronicity!

Spring in the snow

2009-02-08T07:37:00.003Z

It has been a beautiful day with snow and spring sun. I went for a walk with my camera. Beauty is all around us, we just have to open our eyes and heart to allow the flow. More photos on www.powerfulintentions.org/profile/Mila

Busy, busy

2009-02-08T07:34:00.003Z

I haven't been here for a while only because I'm so busy networking, studying, observing nature, life and myself and so much more. I'm also building a new blog with a different search engine because I'm simply expanding!
Soon, I'll announce my new blog address here and say goodbye to this blog.

Abraham

2009-02-06T03:50:00.000Z

My first vegetable plants of the year!

2009-02-06T03:23:00.002Z

These are my first courgettes of the year! I keep them at home on the window ledge. wonder if they're going to survive!?
I had a great day today and spent it at home as I couldn't go to work due to more snow. All the roads are clear now and there is no trace of snow anywhere but apparently there is more on the way. I spent all day networking navigating between my naps and enjoying my free time. I'm much more relaxed now with my naps, sometimes there are 20min other times 1.5h and if i really struggle I have a core sleep of 3h. I really enjoy this set up so far. For example tonight I delayed my 8pm nap to 8.30pm and still when I went to bed I wasn't sleepy so I just meditated. When the alarm went off I switched it off and stayed in bed a little longer and the next thing I new was me waking up at 11.00pm! I just laughed and stayed awake till now (3.30am) in total awareness and great energy and I'm almost ready for my 4am nap.

New Earth

2009-02-06T01:19:00.003Z

Cheer up and watch this beautiful short film. Our planet Earth is so beautiful. Appreciate every grain, every blade and every drop of water.
Just click on the title and enjoy!

Great energy!

2009-02-05T04:38:00.004Z

I wrote here yesterday but then went away from the computer and didn't save my work so when I came back, pressed the wrong button and lost everything. Never mind. Here it is again what happened.
I had a wonderful uberman night. The energy was rocketing up to the sky. I was in great mood and felt incredible power within me. It was such an amazing experience. I even did 2nd part of the ashtanga yoga set, which is more difficult then the 1st one. I was totally in the zone. At 4am nap I decided to sleep for 1,5h just to be on the safe side as I had a long day at work in front of me and was worried that I could just loose that beautiful energy. It was a good move and I woke up refreshed at 5.30am. The drive was still there and I went to work.
It was a very busy day and I didn't stop until I got home at 7pm. My 4pm nap was only 15 min and I didn't even go to sleep. I was interrupted and had to go to do another task.
When I came home I decided to go for a longer nap to catch up on my sleep and replenish my energy. I had 1.5 sleep and that was great. However at midnight I was pretty tired again so although I woke up at 00.30am I decided to carry on until 3am and here I'm. I stayed in bed until 4am enjoying the warmth and comfort and recalling my dreams. I was rested and in full spirit again.
With such intense work during the day I realised I must allowed myself for longer naps and a good core sleep during the night. The work is so intense because I interact with lots of young people and give myself fully to all activities. I do like it but I need more rest afterwards.

Now I'm in a dilemma again as there is more snow outside! I don't know if should go to work or stay in. The roads might be fine but there is more snow on the way and I don't want to be stranded at work or on the way from work. I don't think many students will make their way, as buses might not run. There is also the ice factor and it is dangerous as we don't have winter tires and the roads are not clear. Everybody will be thinking the same...
It's almost 5am.

Snow

2009-02-03T22:28:00.003Z

It is very rare that we have snow here in south of England. Everything stopped for a day, the flights were cancelled, people didn't go to work, schools were closed and I had a long weekend.
I went for a long walk in the snow and that was great. Now everything is almost back to normal as the snow melted and we had beautiful sun today. It was fresh and crispy.
I was following up my polyphasic schedule last night according to plan. I'm still allowing myself the core sleep but now I'm trying to reduce it to 1.5 hours. My nap at 4am lasted till 5.30 and I woke up naturally. It was great, I felt good but unfortunately I didn't get out of bed. Mistake as went to sleep again without realising it and woke up again at 7am. I must make sure that: wake up = get up. I know that I won't gain anything by lying in bed. It's an old habit and very difficult to get rid off. I just need to be more alert and hopefully soon I'll get rid of it.
I went to work today but there were no students as they still had a day off due to snow. I had peaceful naps and went for a short walk. Everything is back to normal tomorrow.
I'm hoping for a good uberman night.

Moon Eclipses - a new window of opportunities

2009-02-01T06:11:00.000Z

This is an exiting time! Back on the 25/26 January there was a New Moon with an eclipse and waiting for us on the 9th of February is a Full Moon with an eclipse. The time in between, right now, is magic. This is a time of radical change, a time of an Aquarian energy that looks beyond the norm that is daring and extraordinary, that questions accepted truths and files in the face of reason.
Change is good. I'm happy to recognize my present circumstances and dare to vision beyond them, past the boundaries of the known into the unknown. I'm realising the old and making room for the new; whatever it is, relationships, friends, work, family, tendencies, behaviours, patterns, way of thinking and feeling.
I'm ready to dive into new life full of love and happiness.
I'm going to make this exercise where I play with a question "What if" and apply it to my relationship, career, attitudes, desires, choices and commitments. I'm going to go where my mind and heart never dared to go before.
"What if I could only do______________, it would really change the world".
That is what I'm going to play with today and for the next nine days up to the Full Moon on the 9th of February. I'm the force for change.

My core sleep tonight was between midnight and 3am. I feel great on it and I’m able to recall my dreams with more accuracy. The energy of the New Moon uplifted me beyond my expectations. There is a beautiful vibration in my heart and I must maintain it at all times. What a fantastic feeling. I can’t wait to share it with others.
I did a powerful meditation not long ago and now I’m fully appreciating it’s benefits.
I’m happy and full of joy.

Back on track

2009-01-31T06:51:00.000Z

I'm back on track! I did follow my napping schedule yesterday and felt very good. After work I went to my yoga class, which really energised me. I was planning a polyphasic night but with a core sleep. It worked yesterday and I felt great. The core was quite long (4 h) but that was just to set me back to my old routine. Basically I slept between midnight and 4am.
I felt really good driving to work that day thinking how I pushed myself in the past. Was that necessary? I don't know, I did it and it was a lesson.
I'm ready now to take things a little bit more easy. When I was driving to work I felt my old self, like I used to be, fully energised and awake.
So the core works and I will keep it for a while.
As I mentioned earlier last night I also included the core sleep, this time from midight till 3am. I felt fantastic waking up at 3am, rested and ready to go. It was nice to be able to wake up and not to jump out of bed in fear of falling asleep again.
It is 7am now and I'm ready for my nap, the sleepiness is creeping up but I must hold on for another 1/2 h to estabish a new pattern. When i go back to work on Monday 7.30 nap will be perfect.

Flotation tank

2009-01-30T06:07:00.000Z

Two days ago I visited a flotation tank. It was my birthday treat from my best friend and I was really looking forward to it. It was an amazing experience but it completely wiped me out! My whole polyphasic routine went to pots. That night I just couldn't get myself out of bed from the naps so I almost slept the whole night! The next day I was alright and carried on with my midday and the afternoon nap. In the evening I went to the cinema with my family and came back almost ready for my midnight nap but I was very tired. I set up my alarm for 4am as I decided to go back to core sleep for a few days to get myself back on track.
For some reason I decided to wear my Q-Link, which I abandoned when I started the polyphasic sleeping. It was sending me too much into the deep sleep.
Unfortunately my alarm didn't go off (I fiddled with it before I went to sleep) and to my horror and amazement I woke up at 7.30am! I couldn't believe it. I jumped out of bed and rushed to work trying to figure out how I managed to sleep whole 7 hours without waking up once! I felt really bad. I had a headache and my face was puffed up. That sleep didn't feel good.

The power of breath

2009-01-27T02:41:00.000Z

...and the fog has lifted again...
Tonight I meditated with my friends, although they are all in different locations we managed to 'meet'. It was a wonderful experience and I still feel the benefits of it and that was hours ago.
It only took 10 min but I used my breath very consciously. I was taking very slow and deep breaths at the same time connecting with my friends and the omnipresent light of the Universe.
That meditation re-energised me beyond belief.
I'm still astonished by it.
I had a very long day at work today. My 4pm nap was very short and I don't even think that was I really asleep. I had to stay at work till 8 pm and drove home at the time of my nap! I was fully awake and didn't encounter any symptoms of sleepiness. I had my nap at home at 9pm followed by the shower and the meditation. I was sure that I would collapse tonight but to my astonishment I'm fully awake and it's 3am. There is a beautiful buzz around me. I feel like I'm vibrating with joy and happiness. I can't even describe it and only yesterday I doubted myself and the path I have chosen. Thank you Angels for helping me. I feel so inspired. Miracles happen every day!

Spring

2009-01-26T02:23:00.000Z

Yes, the spring is coming. I went for a walk today despite the rain to look for the first signs of spring. I took lots of inspiring pictures and will be posting them here every day with a new post.

It was a strange weekend full of doubts and struggle as if the fog came over me and the inner light of joy was hidden. I couldn't find myself.
My struggle with Uberman schedule was the main reason of my discomfort. I was oversleeping a lot. After my 8m nap this morning I found myself staying in bed and drifting between the dreams till almost 11am. It's not that I sleep deeply in those times but I literally wake up every 20min. or so to recall the dream and go back for more. This morning I almost became lucid as in one of the dreams I knew I was dreaming but didn't make a command to fly or do anything. I simply acknowldge it but didn't do anyting about it.
After the midnight nap, just now I realised that I was dreaming about travelling. That is a sign for me to wake up in a dream but I didn't.
By the way I stayed in bed after this nap for another hour drifting between the dreams. I'm fully awake now and rested so maybe I will adapt this technique for a while to stop this constant battle with myself that I'm not doing clean uberman. That midnight nap will be my dream nap, close to a core sleep.
1. Polyphasic sleep - everyman
2. Raw food - 80% (had steamed pumpkin soup and a piece of spelt bread)
3. Meditation - yes but very short
4. Clear mind - no
5. Reality checks -no
6. Exercises - yes
7. fresh air - yes

Greed

2009-01-25T06:05:00.000Z

I had my lunch after my afternoon nap at 4pm so I felt hungry and greedy. I must make sure that won't have such big gaps between the meals otherwise disaster strikes. I simply stuffed myself and felt heavy and sick afterwards. As a result of that my 8pm nap lasted 2hours.
What I was thinking? It's 6am at the moment and heavy rain and high wind are taking over the morning. Yesterday was such a beautiful day and I was planning to go today for a long walk and immerse myslef in nature. I don't think that will happen now.
I think I go and do some yoga. I have become very lazy this weekend...

Morning coffee

2009-01-25T05:43:00.000Z

This Friday early morning before I went to work I decided to avoid coffee, which I had for the whole week to keep me awake in the car. Bad move. I was struggling really bad. The rain didn't help also and I remembered that my blood pressure is usually very low and coffee is beneficial for me. I'm afraid I'll have to stick to coffee for road safety reasons at the moment.
When I got to work I realised that I've forgotten my phone and that equals alarm clock. My friend Helena had a day off so I couldn't ask her to wake me up or borrow her phone. As a result I overslept the 8am nap for about 30min. That morning I felt a little bit groggy and only after midday nap I regained my natural state of being.
I woke up naturally after this nap and asked my students to wake me up from my afternoon sleep.
In the evening I went to my friends party and had cooked food! It was a lovely vegetarian enchilada. I didn't have time to eat after coming back from work and I was hungry. I felt in a party mood and wanted to be a little bit naughty! Strangely enough alcohol didn't even cross my mind.
That night I slept most of the time between 4am and 8pm. It was a conscious treat and I loved it.
I felt fantastic during my dance step class and afterwards went to town to by a new journal.
At the party I was talking to an old lady, who has been recording weather and nature for the past 15 years. I was really inspired by that idea and started thinking about doing it myself.

The white noise

2009-01-25T05:35:00.000Z

I think I know why I was so sleepy the other night. White noise. I was meditating listening to the white noise CD, which induces deep relaxation altered state. When I was a monophasic sleeper I used to listen to it mainly on weekends because I could sleep longer. After a session on white noise I had extra wonderful dreams but at the same time my sleeping was very deep and I usually slept much longer than usual.
I guess I'll have to quit the white noise for now as I did with the Q-link. My Q-link is now sitting on my bed side table rather than on my neck. I miss it in a way but again the Q-link had great impact on my sleeping similar to white noise so for now I'll just look at ti form a distance.

Closing window

2009-01-23T03:55:00.000Z

I couldn't open my eyes after the midnight sleep. I got up and fall asleep again for another 40min. I was trying to do some housework to keep awake but collapsed on the nearest bed and fell asleep for another 40min. Woke up and forced myself again to keep going and was falling asleep while trying to read the e-mails. I only regained full consciousness at 3.30am! This is crazy as I have to catch another nap at 4am. Those naps between midnight and 4am are not my best thing at the moment. I don't know what's going on. I feel great for the rest of the day and night but this window for some reason is shutting down on me.

Those extra moments

2009-01-22T03:13:00.000Z

I had a cup of coffee at around 6am because I was worried about my drive to work. I woke up form the 4am nap feeling groggy. In fact I should of get up at 4.45am but let myself staying in bed for another extra 25 min. as I was really spaced out. I didn't do my morning yoga and it took me time to feel normal with the help from coffee. The drive to College was just fine and the whole day went by fast, full of energy and good work. The naps were of high quality, on time and full of dreams but I still can't recall them totally. It's interesting how at work I don't experience any dips in energy and don't need any stimulants to keep me going. It's high performance at all times. My food intake is also minimal. I have my apple breakfast followed by a bowl of soup at lunch. I make the soup in the morning at home and take it with me in a flask. Usually I have been able to get through the whole flask and had some extra snacks. Now I can hardly go through half of the flask. I'm not hungry and yest my energy levels are great.
I came home around 6.30pm and did the whole set of yoga. I was surprised as I didn't feel like doing even half of the set. However I miraculously found some energy and kept going.
After my 8pm nap I did the usual mistake of staying in bed for that extra stretch and comfort and yes..fall asleep again for another 30min. I don't know how I'm letting that happen?! I felt great after the nap and yet again was over confident so allowed myself to just let go. I really need to get that habit under control.
The same thing happened after the midnight nap! I failed getting out of bed and as a result of that overslept quite substantially. I woke up at 12.30am, stayed in bed and fall asleep till 1.10am and then rolled over my front just for another extra moments (!) and found myself waking up at 2.10am. Disaster. I wasn't happy but felt fully recovered.
So here I'm ready for my 4am nap. I feel very good so hope to wake up feeling even better.
My seven rules:
1. polyphasic sleep - everyman
2. raw food - apples, soup, home made oats and flaxseed crackers with some (not raw but organic) mushroom pate
3. reality checks - yes quite a few
4. meditation - no
5. exercises - no cardiovascular
6. clear mind, download of chatter - yes
5. fresh air - no

Light. The winter is over!

2009-01-21T07:38:00.000Z

Yes, I know it's still very cold and it's January but today for the first time as I was driving to work at around 6.30 the sky was getting lighter and lighter. The pitch black drives are over!
What a relieve. I was in such a good mood by the time I arrived at work welcoming the bright sky.
Last night was a struggle but I overcome it. I think I can see a pattern I've established with my sleeping schedule. Basically towards the end of the week, especially Friday night I tend to oversleep massivly, followed by lazy late mornings at the weekend where I also sleep longer than I should. That allowes me to store enough energy and sleep in my body for the beginning of the next week. Usually Monday and Tuesday are great and then in the middle of the week I start flaking running out of fuel. By Friday I find myself oversleeping again with the explanation that I deserve more sleep because I have just worked a full week!
Great excuses. Well, I just have to break this pattern. Last night was the first attempt. I didn't let go. The time between midnight and 4am was pretty lame, the old sleepiness creped up I spent some time in the kitchen preparing raw crackers till 2am and then went on the computer. Unfortunately my husband took my laptop (he went to Sweden for a business trip) and left me the main house computer, which is great but the keyboard is a nightmare! I was very discouraged and didn't engage in my usual networking activities.
However I had a great day.

Massive dream

2009-01-20T03:28:00.000Z

I felt pretty good this morning after my 4am nap but I was quite worried about driving to work. So far I had two clear nights on uberman and things were going very smooth. At 6am I decided to have a small coffee. It was a good move as my drive to work was fantastic. I felt fully awake and in good spirit. I had no problems with falling asleep at 8am nap so everything was going just fine.
My day at work was excellent. I was focused, in good mood, bright and energetic. The naps were of good quality.
After work I did some yoga and had a big green salad. Everything was fine until my midnight nap. The alarm woke me up and I was totally disorientated. I thought it was a phone ringing and who could that be calling us in the night? Then I realised where I was I and picked up my alarm. I was sure I overslept. I had a feeling that I slept through the whole night. It was 35 min past midnight. I couldn't believe it. It was almost impossible. There was this massive dream still hanging around me, it felt like I have been dreaming for ages. I got up and made myself a cup of herbal tea. I couldn't shake off the sleep and was trying to remember the dream. I stayed in bed for another hour just sitting up right sipping my tea and just being.
I feel back on track again but it took me some time to come back to normal. This last period was quite a challenge. It's my 4am nap soon and I hope I'll feel as good as yesterday.
I didn't do any reality checks today. I'm going to put some reminders around me about that.
I didn't get any fresh air. Now thinking back I could of got out in that critical time and do some breathing outside...
I didn't do the exericise about downloding my busy mind.
Everything else was there: raw food, polyphasic, meditation, exercise.

Seven rules of a warrior

2009-01-19T02:35:00.000Z

I had a really good day and night so far. My energy levels stayed the same, very positive and encouraging. I even did some marking!
I had one little stumble this morning because after my 8am nap I failed to get up from bed. Yes, yet again I trusted myself that I'm well rested and decided to recall my dream lying down. Bad move as I fall asleep again and woke up at 10am! This was the last time I allowed myself to stay in bed after awakening.
I had breakfast and read 'Way of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman. I saw the film and was inspired to read the book. I really enjoy it and this book encouraged me to stay on track.
My goal is to become a warrior and I understand that the journey to it is not always easy. I have made a list of tasks I want to follow every day:
1. Stay polyphasic on uberman schedule
2. Stay raw as close to 100% as possible
3. Do reality checks as often as possible
4. Meditate/work on conscious OBE (out of body experience)
5. Exercise - yoga and cardiovascular
6. Clear my mind - download the constant dialog on paper and burn it afterwards
7. get fresh air

I had a nap at midday and after that I went for a long walk. The air was warm and the sun was shining. Another glimpse of spring.
I had a glass of freshly squeezed organic orange juice. Heaven!
I did some study on Greek Plays as I'm directing now "Trojan Women" with my students.
The 4pm nap was equally pleasant as the midday one and I woke up before the alarm. I had a large plate of fresh salad and did some marking. This is an achievement as I never do my work on the weekend.
Then the 8pm nap came and after that I watched some tv with my daughters. It's nice to spend some time with them eve if it's watching tv.
It is now almost 3am and I feel pretty good. I hope this energy will stay with me when I drive to work. I need it then the most.
I can feel the sleepiness coming upon me slowly so I better do something...

Uberman and Spring

2009-01-18T06:26:00.000Z

This is my last attempt to do clean uberman schedule. If I fail I'll give it a rest for two month. I was already pondering about giving up but decided to to carry on and be strict this time. Changing and chopping my sleep pattern with everyman (core sleep) is not very good and messes up my system. I was chatting on line to another experienced polyphasic sleeper in Australia and he gave me lots of advice.
So this was my first night. I had a crisis at about 3am and I was struggling to keep awake but I managed to survive till my 4m nap. I got up from my 4am nap against all odds as it was so tempting to just go back to sleep. I did yoga straight away and that helped alot. My determination to keep going is back and I just have to remeber this feeling in moments of weakness. Well, I have to remember all those beautiful moments I had in the past and just be more srtict with myself.

Today I felt the first glimpse of spring! The sun was warm and encouraging and the garden was calling me, so I did some sowing. I did a tray of salad in a cold frame and some pots of courgettte, which I kept at home. Something to look forward. It's only the second half of January but I can smell spring in the air. Very encouraging.
So thumbs up for my new start with uberman and the spring!

The whole night sleep!

2009-01-17T08:45:00.000Z

I slept the whole night and I feel strange. I have a little headache at the back of my head but I also feel extremely rested. I don't know what happened last night...well, I do.
Paul is really missing me sleeping in bed with him so I decided to dedicate this night to him. I still went to bed at midnight for a nap but failed to get up. I did wake up but for some reason I couldn't be bothered to get up so I fell asleep again. Then Paul woke up and we read books for a while, this was around my 4am nap. After that I was ready to get up and do some writing but Paul asked me to stay with him longer and I fell asleep again till 8am! Great excuses!
I gave myself lots of liberties because it's a weekend and I didn't have to get ready for work after my 4am nap as usual. More excuses...
I guess lately I have been oversleeping too much and now I long for a new beginning. Lets start again with full uberman schedule and 100% raw diet.
I'm challenging myself again and will be recording my progress here of course. Paul is going away for a week so there will be no distractions and no excuses, so I hope.
Today is the 17th of January and in a month time (16th Feb.) I will be going to Italy for two weeks. This month will be pure and challenging: polyphasic, raw and full of exercises.
I'm exited again.
By the way I had fantastic end of the week as my Friday was very creative at work, the night before was crystal clear and full of awareness. I was even jumping on my trampoline in the middle of the night and did yoga in the early ours of the morning. I also did full set of yoga at the end of the day.

more core sleeps

2009-01-16T02:54:00.000Z

Last time I was wondering how this week will turn up hoping for a clean uberman nights. Unfortunately things didn't turned up the way I wanted them to go but nevertheless everything always has it's own course of truth so I just followed that.
Last Monday night I spent all my hours creating my new website. I'm really exited about it as I was planning to do it long time ago but never had time and inspiration to do it. Finally it arrived and I'm creating. As soon as the site will go live I shall announce it here. I was so awake and full of ideas. It was a great creative spell.
Tuesday night at my usual writing slot between midnight and 4am I simply couldn't open my eyes. I also had a very heavy day at work so I was pretty tired and I decided to go to sleep for three hours. I felt invigorated the next day and ready to follow up the program.
However I felt overconfident the next night and after waking up from my midnight nap I decided to lay in bed for a little longer to find my dream. I felt really awake and thought to myself that there is no way I could just fall asleep with such energy around me.
Well, I was wrong, the next thing I knew was me opening my eyes feeling absolutely brilliant but it was 3am on my clock!
I've missed another session of writing and my own development. As I usually get up at 4.30 after my nap and get ready for work I decided to enter the dreaming state for another hour.
At work I carried the napping as usual although some of them were not very productive, I simply didn't fall asleep but still had a rest.
I'm back on track tonight and feeling really good. I think that the core sleep once or twice a week is really beneficial to me at the moment so I will follow that pattern.
I just have to be careful not to become lazy and slip more core sleeps into my routine.
The days are getting longer...:)

Polyphasic weekend

2009-01-12T03:25:00.000Z

I made really tasty raw burgers today (see recipe at the end). I love weekends and this one was amazing. Nothing special happened, it was just an ordinary weekend if you look at it from the outside but for me it felt warm, buzzing and joyful. My naps had special quality to them, I was waking up seconds before the alarm. I allowed myself lying in and extra dreaming in the mornings without feeling guilty or thinking that I'm not doing uberman by the book. This weekend I wasn't and it didn't matter. On Saturday and Sunday morning I went to bed at 7am rather then 8am and had a core sleep for about an 1.5h. I then read and had breakfast and went for another nap or two. It felt great and I just missed the midday nap instead. The days had real quality to them as I felt uplifted, inspired and just simply happy. There was no particular reason for my positive feelings. I just felt really good. I met some friends today and they commented on my good looks considering that I wasn't sleeping according to the rest of the world sleeping rules.
The raw food and polyphasic sleeping are working to my favour. I hope this week will be special too. I won't have extra naps in the mornings but I think I managed to recharged myself for the whole week. We shall see. I'm curious if I'll maintain this level of energy towards the end of the week. It will be challenging as students are back tomorrow so my work will be also more demanding.
Here is the recipe for the raw burgers:
2 cups cashew nuts
1 large red pepper
2 celery sticks
1 small red onion
1 garlic clove
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp cumin
celtic sea salt
black pepper
Blend the cashews to a fine powder in a good guilty blender. If you don't have one just blend them in any blender as fine as you can. Take it out and put aside.
Blend the rest of the ingrediens and add the cashews. Mix it all by hand and form burgers.
Ketchup: blend 1 tomato with 3 (pre-soaked) sun dried tomatoes with 1tbs of honey and 1tbs vinegar
I served it with rocket salad, finely chopped parsley and gherkins.
Delicious. Enjoy!

New Beginnings

2009-01-10T19:16:00.000Z

It's a middle of January and winter is still here in a full glory. The Solstice back in December marked a new beginning. The plans are starting to wake up as the days go longer.
Last year in late summer I planted the top of a pineapple not really believing that anything will happen to it. I just left it in my room upstairs where there is a lot of light and warmth to itself.
To my surprise the pineapple adapted itself and is growing beautifully.
This gives me the inspiration to grow too, to expand with the light and continue on my journey.
Last night was very productive and calm. I was fully energised and yes, there were moments of the energy dipping down but of no importance. I just simply changed the focus of my attention and with it the energy changed too.
I must say early this morning I allowed myself to stay in bed for a little bit longer and indulged in dreaming. I went to bed an hour before my 8am nap and got up at 8.50am. It was a true laying in on Saturday morning. That what's the weekend is for!

Core sleep

2009-01-10T01:14:00.000Z

Last night I gave up. After my midnight nap I found myself struggling again, I was very, very tired and I didn't even had energy to do some physical activities like pottering around the house. I tried to have something to eat to get that sleep away but I was falling asleep eating! This was too much and eventually I gave up at around 2am and went for a core sleep. I put my alarm for 4.30am and I did wake up at that time but decided to carry on and eventually woke up naturally at 6.35. I had 4,5 hours core sleep. I went to work and missed the 8am nap but from 12.00 I started again and functioned very well. My naps were still very good and full of dreams. It is 1.30am now and I'm functioning really well. I'm fully awake and energised.
Yesterday I went to London with my friend and had a colonic irrigation in the morning followed by some shopping and late lunch. My 4pm nap didn't happened till 5.30pm in the car on the way back home.
This was my first week of work and together with the trip to London it definitely put a lot of strain on my body. The core sleep restored me and brought me my strength and clarity back.
I did a full ashtanga yoga session tonight.
I have a weekend in front of me and I will rest so I can have maximum energy for the up coming week. I hope it will be easier on me.
I'm learning so much about my body and I really need to put more attention and more care to it. I understand now that we do take our bodies for granted and we exploit it as much as we can. The whole Uberman schedule makes so much sense. Our body needs a rest every 4h. We can't maintain operating on full charge for 12h per day on the monophasic sleep. Our working hours are too long. We do not rest sufficiently, do not exercise regularly or take enough fresh air into our lungs.
The Ubreman schedule gives me the opportunity to take care of my body with more consideration and telling me that I should slow down. I did gain so many hours but I must make sure I use them wisely otherwise those hours will become empty, a low energy, sleepy wasted time. If I want to live by the Uberman schedule I must be very disciplined and aware of everything around me. I need to revise my time between the naps and change my way of being
even more.
One block should contain the following:
- on awaking go outside and do some conscious breathing
-have something to eat, small and raw
-dedicate only 2h to mental activity to get the maximum results
- do some light tasks
- do some more breathing
- time for the next nap.
This is the rough outline of each section of the day/night. Of course they will vary. The most important thing is to realise that there is only 2 hours for a solid work, be it mental or physical in one block.
I shall try to implement these changes immediately.

those sleepy moments...

2009-01-08T03:50:00.000Z

I don't know what's going on. Today was a real struggle at times. The naps are going really well, I even remembered very vivid dreams but the times between the naps were surprisingly sleepy.
The ride to work this morning was a real challenge. I had to open windows (it's freezing cold at the moment) and sing out loud to keep going. After my nap at 8m I couldn't wake up. I even had a coffee to function properly! I was alright for the rest of the day but the drive back home was again difficult.
I was looking forward to my night time between midnight and 4am as I usually do some creative writing, catching up on e-mails, etc but to my surprise again I wasn't functioning well. I had very good nap and was fine but couldn't shake off the sleep. I found myself falling asleep in front of the computer, literally with my head dangling down?!
The nap at 4am was again full of dreams. I like it and keep an eye on them as the next step is lucid dreaming. During my last nap I was traveling and that is usually a trigger for me to realise that I'm dreaming, not this time though.

Improvements

2009-01-07T01:30:00.000Z

I decided to add some images to my posts from now on. These are my apples, which I collected from my garden in the autumn. The apple tree was very generous this year. I still have few bags of these delicious apples in the garage. I 've taken this image today. The apples are still crisp and sweet as...
I'm back on track with adapting to work situation. Today I slept like a log during my naps. I had a low moment after lunch but brushed it off by simply going for a walk to town. The weather was glorious today, very cold but sunny.
Last night after my crisis around 3am I suddenly came to life again and all my energy was restored. I did more meditation and didn't fall asleep. The ride to work was also easy. I'm in good form.
When I came home after work I felt really tired so I had the shower and then rested on my bed for about 1/2h. I was hovering between the dreamworld and this reality again. I even remembered the dream. It didn't feel like I had a nap but very good rest. I got up and went abut my business. Life is sweet. I carried on with my naps as usual.
Before Uberman I used to come home from work exhausted and always had a short rest so today was not unusual to rest after work. I think sometimes I'm too hard on myslef :)
I'm still finding myself chasing time. When I come home after work I rest till my 8pm nap. Then the time before midnight nap I send with my family, eating, watching tv, chatting so really only this section of the routine from midnight till 4am I have totally for myself for writing/reading/learning. When I rise from the 4am nap I do yoga, prepare lunch and breakfast and leave for work. I think that's a good balance anyway; well, except for too long period at work.
I bought some CD's to learn Italian and I listen to them in the car. this is an addition to my Monday's lessons. I really want to absorb that language.

First Day at work

2009-01-06T01:58:00.000Z

The struggle is back and I'm having major doubts again. Today was my first day of work after two weeks holidays in a comfortable home environment.
I was very alert during the day. I started the preparation for work after my 4am nap. I did some yoga, made my lunch and breakfast, had very long, luxurious shower and set off for the road at 6.30 am. I didn't feel sleepy on my journey. It was a tough one as the snow was constantly attacking my front window. The first snow this winter. It turned out a beautiful, crispy and sunny day. Unfortunately I had to spend it in the office :(
The quality of my naps at work were very poor and that's why I think I'm so tired now. I just couldn't go to sleep straight away and some naps went even without the sleep.
For the last two weeks I was sleeping in a warm, cosy bed and now this was replaced by a yoga mat on the floor with a small cushion and my coat as a blanket.
I'm sure tomorrow I will be sleeping very deeply on that floor.
I had a little dip in energy at around 2pm during the Italian class, which by the way went very well. I recovered very quickly after having few sips of my tea.
I'm wonderig if the quality of my sleep had something to do with the tea I brewed this morning. It was a mix of Pau d'arco and green leaf tea. Some schools say there is a fair amount of caffeeen in the green tea others say the trace is so minimal that it doesn't efffect us in a any way.
I think that it has some efect on me.
In the early evening at my pilates class I was falling asleep. I came home and had a wonderful nap in my bed. However my energy was still not restored. I spent all evening on the sofa watching tv with my family. I didn't feel like doing anything else. I wasn't sleepy but I just lacked in energy and alertness.
After the midnight nap I felt better but still not myself. It's 2.32 am now and I have already been outside few times to fully wake up. It has been a struggle.
I think I have to allow myself few days to get back into the routine of going to work and sleeping on the floor again.

2009-01-04T23:33:00.000Z

I decided to write my blog today in sections according to my nap schedule:
8am - 12.00 noon
as I said earlier I stayed in bed most of the time enjoying my last day of holiday. Multiple napping.

12 - 4pm
I skipped this nap because of the morning napping and went for a bike ride instead. It was very cold and my feet were suffering the most. I roasted a pumpkin in coconut oil with some celtic sea salt, Yummy, and watched a movie. Very nice.

4pm - 8pm
A txt message on my phone woke me up at 16.15 so I reset the alarm for another 30min. I must remember to switch my mobile off.
I prepared more yummy raw food and put it into the dehydrator. I had a feast at 6pm and after that decided to clear up my desk and pack all assignments into my car for tomorrows work. I didn't do all the marking I was intended to do but never mind. I still have a week without students so hopefully will catch up on that.

8pm - midnight
I woke up with the alarm from the nap half hour later. I decided to study some Italian. I'm joining a new class tomorrow. I also studied new assignment for next term for my Y2 students. I'm really exited about it. We are going to do a Greek play.
For the first time on polyphasic schedule I attempted to do some meditation/relaxation and energy work in between the naps to induce Out of Body experience. I was fully alert and in a good form so the danger of falling asleep was very weak. I prompted myself on the sofa with cushions and legs up, the reclining position. I was going to leave my head without the support but decided against it as it was too straining for my body.
It was a good experience and lasted 17 min. I went into a deep relaxation and then tried to hover over my body. I did not exit but felt very mild sensations of expansion.

Last day of holidays

2009-01-04T07:13:00.000Z

I can't imagine going back to monophasic sleep. This whole system makes so much sense. I'm totally in harmony with it.

Today my energy throughout day and night was of a high standard. I love being so awake and content.

This morning I went to my step dance class and really enjoyed it. Usually I struggled with remembering the sequence of steps but now I can follow it with hardly any mistakes. My head was up and I was putting more effort into the performance routine. I really like this class.

I would like to do more dancing. Maybe I can find a suitable dance class at my College? That would be good.

I'm neglecting my Italian so must learn something tonight. I'm starting a new class on Monday.

5am

I felt totally in the zone of this reality during all night. I also did some pretty good writing :) My project is going well.

A miracle just happened. At around 3.50 (just before my 4am nap) I decided to do some relaxation exercises. I sat in a reclining position on my sofa. I didn't put the alarm on. This was going to be just a short interlude to my nap. The next thing I knew was me waking up. I looked at the watch with anticipation. I was fully rested and thought I slept few hours.

It was 4.40am. Thank you.

I was amazed. After all my body is listening to my commands. This was a great achievement as this was the most difficult nap to wake up from so far. Okay, it wasn't 20-30 min nap but 40min is just as good, considering no alarm. Yes, I felt a little bit groggy but that went shortly after waking up.

I also had a very vivid dream. Huge progress.

I did yoga at around 7am and progressed to my 8am nap.

I was a little bit lazy after that. It was my last day of holiday so I let go and lazed about in bed surfing between the dreamland and this reality. I had breakfast in bed, cuddled up with my daughter and finally got up at 11.30 am.

Despite the cold weather I went for bike ride. I'm sure my body craves Vitamin D and from tomorrow I will be at work all day long.

Moody Friday

2009-01-03T06:43:00.000Z

Friday just passed and Saturday is emerging. I had a good day but with some glitches. In the morning I was chatting with other polyphasic sleepers. It’s great fun. It’s also really nice to know that there are other people in the world going through what I went and am still going on.
In the early afternoon I went to a shopping centre but didn’t feel that great. I don’t know if it’s the energy of the shopping mall or just me running on law battery. It wasn’t too bad but bad enough to notice it.
The second part of the afternoon I must admit I just spent relaxing on the sofa knitting , watching some tv and having my main meal. I had my favourite green raw but hot soup. I’m so glad that I can eat that soup day after day after day and I’m not bored of it. It’s the most healthy thing I have in a day. I have been snacking a lot yesterday as I didn’t have a biggish meal and some of the snacks were not as healthy. Well, they were really healthy for a person with a traditional diet but not for me. I had too many slices of the most delicious rye bred. That’s it. No more other snacking.
In the evening I went to see the film about the Cuban revolution “Che”. Absolutely fantastic film. I’m so glad I saw it. It made me little bit sad. It was strange to watch a movie, where the main characters were fighting for communism. Being raised in a communist country with so much resentment towards this regime, I felt sad that all that blood was shed for not what was going to be achieved. The ideology of communism is great and their first leaders very passionate, true human beings. However what they thought for turned into a big ugly monster. Humanity wasn’t ready yet to embrace that idea. Greed and selfishness buried it in the ashes of pain and poverty.
As for the naps, they were rolling pretty good. No oversleeping, some waking up before the alarm but as the night approached I felt a little bit down at places.
It’s very cold and grey and I didn’t go for a walk today. It’s dark most of the time and I really miss the sun and warm weather. I will keep going and yes, I need to change my tune.
It’s 5.30am now and I should go down to do some yoga but I’m already considering skipping it. I’m going to my dance step class in the morning so that’s not too bad.
I still have to fight sleepiness from time to time and I think that’s’ where the moodiness comes from. Like now I feel tired and I wouldn’t mind going for a good sleep…
I went online and had a great chat. Feel totally awake. Now yoga and then 8am nap. Life is beautiful again,

New Year resolution

2009-01-02T05:01:00.000Z

First day of 2009. I was thinking about my New Year resolution. At first I didn’t want to do any of it but somehow all day long my mind was pondering about this issue.
I was giving a lift to the train station to one of my daughter's friend. This was a first time I met this boy and as soon as we sat in the car he asked me what is my New Year resolution. I laughed and said that I’m not doing it this year.
For sure one of the angels sent him to me prompting me about this subject. I wasn’t let off easily.
I couldn’t get to sleep at my 8pm nap, well, I don’t really know if I fell asleep or not. However I was “dreaming” about my New Year resolution.
I’ve got it. This idea has been in my head or rather heart for a long time. I always thought that I would do it when I stop working full time but my desire was stronger. The angels again took care of the events and here I’m being a polyphasic sleeper with so much extra time on my hands.
I’m over the adaptation stage and feel wonderful. I’ve decided to even stop counting my days/night. I’m a polyphasic sleeper, full stop. I absolutely love it. If I stop for any reason I’ll just stop and that will be it but for now I’m in full swing of it.
The battle or a game is over and even if I let myself oversleep at times so be it. On monophasic sleep we often let ourselves sleep longer than required, specially on holidays and weekends. This same can apply to polyphasic sleeping. After the adaptation faze one can play around with timings.
My New Year resolution is to be creative but specifically to write a book. Till now I new I wanted to write a book but I didn’t really knew what about. The 8pm nap solved it. I’ve got a clear idea, of course I’m very open and things can change as I’ll go along but nevertheless the idea is there.
I’ll start tonight and my slot for writing will be between midnight and 4am nap.

My other New Year resolution is to remember to smile, at all times, down to every organ in my body.
After the midnight nap I did my first writing. It felt good. I have no idea how it will develop but I will try to write a page a day.
I feel a little bit groggy after my 4am nap. I think it’s because I let myself to stay in bed longer. I kept my alarms by my side table and I simply switched them off and stayed in bed. Usually I have them away from me so I have to get up from bed. Anyway all I need to do it to go outside and breathe for a while.

I had few breaths barefoot (it wasn't freezing tonight) and felt much better. I then did half set of ashtanga yoga.

Polyphasic New Year's Eve

2009-01-01T21:55:00.000Z

Here we are 2009. I just got a newsletter from the astrologer I see every year for some guidance. Looking at the planets he is predicting crazy January:
‘The coming three months are split into two halves with very different effects. The Mercury retrograde happening during the last three weeks of January will bring massive over expectation in many different areas and there will be a lot of headless chickens running around madly. This will end up by the start of February but clarity will not come until the middle of that month, so decisions made impulsively in January will prove to be unsustainable. Don’t buy into what appears to be happening at the end of January, there will be a large element of hype and spin about it. Suspend judgement until mid February.’ Steve Judd steve@stevejudd.com

I guess we mustn’t get frustrated if our sleeping pattern gets out of hand. Just keep going and hopefully things will come down in February.

I had an interesting morning yesterday (New Year’s eve). I crushed at 7am, I was really tired and stayed in bed until almost midday! The strange thing was that I didn’t sleep like a log for a solid period of time. I was waking up every half hour. Stayed awake for a bit enjoying being in bed and went for a snooze again. It was as if I was floating between dream land and this reality. At first I was a little bit disappointed with myself but then I realised that it doesn’t really matter and I can allow myself to just let go and be lazy.
I also miss that feeling of waking up from a dream and going back again, diving in and out of it. After all I’m on holidays and I’m entitled to enjoy myself. It’s winter and lying in bed is just beautiful.
I nearly hit the lucid dream at one point but didn’t quite get there. It’s fine I will.

I moved my naps an hour early so I could accommodate the party and the midnight countdown. I slept at 3pm and then at 7pm jut before we went to the party.
This was my first New Year without alcohol. I still don’t miss it. I felt relaxed, comfortable and in good spirit for the whole evening. At 11pm I had a nap at my friend’s bedroom. I didn’t really fell asleep as it was a bit noisy but I had a good rest.
I felt that I went into a deep relaxation. I can now recognise the stages of falling asleep. I actually feel the sensation of dropping down a faze going deeper and deeper. I went quite right down but not into a deep sleep.
However I felt fine and refreshed. I was in full speed again. Just after midnight I became a taxi driver. I had to pick up my daughter and her friends from one part of town and later the other one from the other side of town.
I landed at home just before 3am and had my nap in my bedroom. Usually I take my naps in a spare bedroom, where I spend my nights. It’s a spacious room where I have my office, sofa and tv. I love spending my time there.
I thought that I will struggle with getting up but to my surprise I didn’t! I woke up and managed to stay in bed for another half hour, just contemplating on my state of alertness and enjoying lying in bed. I got up at 4am sill fully amazed at my fantastic condition of being.
I’m aiming to get my next nap at 8am, so going back to my old routine.
I just found www.glastonburyradio.net great stuff.
At 6.15 I did a full set of ashtanga yoga. Life is beautiful.

Polyphasic Sleep Day 3e

2008-12-31T05:39:00.000Z

Wonderful. My third night in full energy. It’s 5.22am and I’m feeling great. No struggle during the day or night so far. I can’t believe it. Is that it? Am I over the adaptation faze?
I guess tomorrow will be the test, which I might not pass. It’s New Year and I’m going to a dinner party. My nap falls at midnight! I have already moved the naps 30min. earlier and plan to move it further another 30 min so I can go to sleep at 7pm (it used to be 8pm) and go to the party. My next nap then would be at 11pm. I hope I will be able to sneak out and find a quiet place in my friend’s house to take it. We shall see.
I did some yoga tonight at 2am, very strange as I’m starting to operate on full energy round the clock. Night and day are merging into one. My yoga sessions are 30 min long and I’m just about to do another set. I must say that yoga really helped me in the most crucial adaptation stage.
Tonight I went on the poly-phasers.com website and went into the chat room. Thank you Mark. It was great! Now I have polyphasic mates. Brilliant.

Polyphasic Sleep Day 2e

2008-12-30T14:21:00.000Z

7.26am, major breakthrough. This is my second clean night and for sure very alert one. For once I didn’t feel sleepy or tired after my 4am nap. I still feel very good and it’s only 30min before my nap. I wonder how I will feel today and of course tonight will be a big test. This night was the first one, where I didn’t do any pottering around the house. I was alert enough for the whole night to read, write and listen to some lectures. Amazing.
I had some doubts earlier as if to carry on this experiment but now I’m fully convinced that I’m on the right path. I will carry on.
I had a nap at 8am and woke up 15-20min later very awake and alert. I was lying in bed wondering how this could be. I let myself fell asleep again but was in control and woke up again after 15min very refreshed. I was astonished. No trace of tiredness, fully awake.
I went to town this morning and came back in time for my midday nap. I allowed myself double nap again, which was a little bit naughty as I developed a slight headache. It’s 2.15pm now and I know it will shift soon. I might go outside to breathe for a while.
By the way I did some yoga at 6am and this time I wasn’t waking up as I was going through it but instead I was full of energy from the start.
The headache disappeared after 4pm nap with no trace. It wasn't really a headache but more like a grogginess.

Polyphasic Sleep Day 1e

2008-12-29T15:03:00.001Z

Every day is a new beginning and that’s how I’m going to look at it. Fresh start and a new tactic to return to the clear uberman schedule. The tactic? Alarm clock in a distane so I’ll have to get up to turn it off.
Last night yet again I lost my game in the early hours of the morning. I went for the 4am nap and woke up at around 7am. How? Don’t know. I must of switched the alarm off and went back to sleep but I can’t remember. When I woke up after 7am I decided to go back to sleep until my 8am nap. There was no point of getting up and then going back for a nap again and I didn’t feel like going without one straight till midday.
So I slept till 8.30 and then had breakfast in bed and read a book, I think I even went for another snooze. Finally I got au at 11am! I decided to miss the midday nap. Disappointed? Yes, a little but I’m not giving up. I thought about it during my long walk today. The journey is difficult but I’m also learning so much from it.
I’m definitely training my will power and discipline. I’m also learning how to control my emotions, which is mainly observing my ego. This journey is not a battle. There is no winners or losers. I call it a game but it’s not either. It’s difficult to realise that and to stay calm whatever the circumstances. I’m not treating this challenge as an end goal task.
I’ve just realised now that I will always have to be alert even if I manage to stay on a very strict uberman schedule for a month. No doubt after the month I would like to go further and further so the journey never ends and that is the challenge.
That is the purpose of my life – to keep going, to continue the journey and stay very awake and very alert. The 30 day challenge will just help me to establish a new way of being.
After my walk I made my green raw soup. I missed it. Since Christmas lunch I have been eating my Christmas meal every day, which is delicious but it’s all dehydrated food and I missed the green, more live stuff.
After 4pm nap I went to cinema with Paul to see a film called ‘Australia’. Amazing. I loved it. Absolutely beautiful film. It was very long so my next nap was at 8.30pm. That’s fine. I also moved my midnight nap about 20 min. later.
It’s 1.40am now and I feel really good. I’m planning to watch another film at 2am, “The Fountain” is on TV at that time. I watched this film long time ago (also on TV) but wasn’t totally in it. I can’t remember but there were some distractions at home. I really wanted to see it again, and here it is as I wished.
I have watched the film and I really enjoyed it. Something strange struck me. I really liked the main actor in the ‘Australia’ film and made an effort to remember his name. Hugh Jackman. I’m really not good with it and don’t know names of many actor’s or celebrities.
What was strange that the main actor in ‘The Fountain’ was also Hugh Jackman.

My 4am nap was a success. I got up after the alarm, put the lights on max and managed to lay in bed for another 15 min. I felt bit groggy and disorientated but I knew that will pass if I’ll engage myself in some activities.
I did some domestic stuff and then yoga. Yoga always brings me back to the alert state. It’s 6.15am and I feel really good. I’m going to write some e-mails and read my book.
I’ll be back after 8am nap and if I succeed that will be my first day in block ‘e’ (the fourth take).

Polyphasic Sleep Day 0d

2008-12-28T12:01:00.000Z

Starting again. My 4am nap the night before finished at 8am. Yes, I have to blame my husband Paul again. He woke up just as I was waking up from my nap, came upstairs to the spare bedroom, where I spend my nights and asked me for a cuddle back in our bed. Of course I was asleep straight away again, which makes my counting going to zero. I’m starting from a new block, this time ‘c’ and a new count of days/nights from now on.
I was actually laughing at myself as this whole challenge is really getting into a strange form. It’s fine with me, I will play this game with pleasure and fun. No more frustrations.

It’s 2.43am now and I had a good day. I went for a long walk again. It was very cold today and no sun, which is a pity but I still enjoyed it. I hardly watched any tv today so I feel good about too.
I had a bit of a dip in my energy after the 8pm nap so decided to finish the organization of my desk. It was worth while. My paperwork is sorted and I felt so much better afterwards. The good energy came back and I was able to study some Italian.
I’m joining an Italian class from the 5th of January and needs to catch up as the group already started back in the autumn. I’ve already had some introduction to Italian so it’s still quite easy for me, well at the moment. I hope to get some basics before I go to Italy in February.
3.12am need to do some ironing as I’m feeling a bit too sleepy for reading or writing…
I didn't get up from my 4am nap and slept till 7.12. No achievements.

Polyphasic Sleep Day 0c

2008-12-27T11:20:00.000Z

Last night was great. I was right on schedule. I also did yoga at 6am, the longer version of my set. The only thing was that I took double nap at 8am. Woke up at 8.30 and was trying to recall my dream but instead I feel asleep again and woke up at 9am without an alarm. I found it quite amusing. I felt fresh and not groggy at all.
There was a dip in my alertness at about 11am but I just kept going. I cleaned the kitchen and living room floors. I went for the midday nap earlier and did some affirmations. I woke up refreshed on time.
I went for a long walk. The weather was cold but very sunny. The air was beautiful and clean. Straight after that I drove my daughter to her boyfriend in a nearby village (1h return). I took my afternoon nap and decided to eat something.
I was relaxing on the sofa eating, watching TV and chatting to my husband.
After 8pm nap I felt somehow deprived of energy so I just watched a movie. Law, no self-esteem, no drive to do anything. Mental crisis.
It’s 1.25am now and I feel tired. My eyes are tired and I feel sleepy. I need to move around.
2.28am, feel so much better. I simply organized my office/desk. I followed Steve Pavlina’s advice on how to organize your office/desk. On his website he wrote a great summary of a book by Julia Morgenstern ‘ Organizing from the inside Out’. On top of that I did some domestic chores.
I feel so much better now. I have noticed that a change in mood/feeling can creep up from nowhere. I’m much more aware of it now and can put into practice my strategies now. Not at all times but most of it. Thinking about my early evening law energy faze tonight, I could of done something with it. Now I know to be more aware.
As soon as I discover that my energy is sinking down and I’m getting into a negative side I must change my mental and physical state. Actually the physical one is the first step and the mental will follow up.
Step one – recognize law energy
Step two- stop what you are doing
Step three – get fresh air- breathing
Step four – start doing some domestic chores
Step five- go back to your favourite activity or do something which you were putting off doing.
I shall do it next time I’ll notice a crisis coming up on me.
4am nap.

Polyphasic sleeping Day 1b (26)

2008-12-26T05:30:00.000Z

I didn’t manage to stay awake till 8am nap this morning. I finished up some more preparations in the kitchen for the Christmas lunch and decided to watch the 2nd half of a ‘What the bleep do we know’ movie (behind the scenes). Bad move. I fell asleep on the sofa in a sitting position with my head dangling down.
Paul came to the living room around 6am, I think, and asked me to go to bed, which I really welcomed. I fell asleep straight away and slept like log a log till 10am!
Everybody was waiting for me to wake up so we could open the presents. I wasn’t feeling bad about my extra sleep. After all this was my third night on full uberman and I spent all night preparing my raw Christmas lunch in the kitchen. I was physically tired. That day, earlier on, I was also skating!
It looks like I’m starting new counting again. Now I’m beginning to recognize the pattern of my ups and downs I think I can control it better. So far I had two full awareness nights and collapsed at the end of the third one. Let’s see what happens now.

It’s 5.13am and I woken up from my 4am nap in great mood. I had a very vivid dream and was happy in it. Good sign. I also had a dream in the midnight nap but wasn’t very happy then. Actually I was annoyed at something but can’t remember now why.
I decided to write down my dreams. I used to do that before regularly but somehow went out of it. It’s time to return.
I also managed to do some affirmations for my Out of Body experiments. I’m in much more control over my naps so I can slowly re-introduce my OBE and lucid dreaming affirmations and exercises. I know that I’ll soon hit a lucid dreaming faze. It’s round the corner. I also started to wake up before the alarm and don’t feel groggy on awakening. I don’t have to jump straight out of bed and can recall a dream now. Great progress.

It’s Boxing Day today in UK and first day of big sales. Apparently some shops were open at 5am! Astonishing. I was even thinking of going, just for fun, to see it happening but I cant be bothered. I’m not planning on any shopping anyway.

‘Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.’ Aristotle

I’m happy and joyful. My heart is singing. Life is beautiful.

Polyphasic Sleep Day 2a

2008-12-25T03:56:00.000Z

I’m at my sister’s in law house and it’s 3.33am. I’m doing well. Surprise, surprise.
I had my 4pm nap in the car as we were driving here and then I also had a little laying down rest as soon as we arrived. I was good.
In the evening there was a little drink party. I must congratulate myself on not touching alcohol for the whole month. I have been drinking very little anyway but since the experiment begun alcohol wasn’t even considered. That made things much easier. I wanted to quit drinking completely but there was always an excuse, just a one glass on special occasion. This time round there has been many occasions and I just kept drinking water. It’s strange as this even doesn’t bother me anymore. The temptation simply vanished. Thank you.
The drink party was between 7-9pm, right in the middle of my nap so I stayed till 9pm chatting to people and then sneaked out to our guest bedroom and simply went to sleep. I woke up before the alarm. In fact the alarm didn’t go off because I set it up wrong again and I woke up 10 min. after the wake up time. Not bad. I felt great and went downstairs to say goodbye to the last leaving guests from the party.
At 11pm everybody decided to go to bed but I was very awake. Thank you. I told my sister in law about my experiment and luckily she wasn’t too alarmed. She was kind enough to leave the heating on and recommended some films on DVD. Great. My night was looking good.
I have just watched one of the films and I’m just about to go for my 4am nap. To my surprise I feel really good. I think the crisis is going to hit me after this coming nap but I’m not going to worry about it. If it’s going to be too much of a struggle I simply go to bed. I’m sure at that time my husband is going to look for me anyway.

Tomorrow, well today we are going to go skating and again I was thinking about how I’m going to schedule my naps around it. Luckily I was told that we are going to leave at 12.30. Perfect. Thank you. This will be just after my midday nap.
So it looks like everything is unrolling beautifully, however I’m prepared for any changes anyway.

When people find out about my sleep pattern the first question they ask is ‘why?’, which really astonishes me. They don’t go’ ‘wow, this is interesting, so how does it work?’ They just look at me strangely and ask, ‘why”
For them to give up a full night sleep is crazy. They love their sleep. I guess I like sleeping too but this is much more exiting. This is entering a different reality. It’s almost like I’m in a different dimension. I still have to figure out how am I going to do my energy work without falling asleep and start working more on lucid dreaming and OBE exercises. Yesterday at 6am I was ready to do some meditation in a sitting position without any support but that’s when my husband woke up and instead I went to bed for a snooze. I’ll try to do it again today.
It’s time for my nap now. I hope to wake up in a good condition.
I’m astonished. It’s 5am and I’m fresh, my head is clear and I’m in a good mood. Thank you.
For the first time I woke up after 4am nap and was able to read a book, which I just did. Amazing. Now I’m going to watch the second film. The first one was very dark, revealing the negative side of human and how low he/she can fall.
I’m looking at people differently now. I feel compassion even to the characters on the screen. All thee characters are so caught up in their lives and live in such fear that their little world will collapse or stop working for them.
We lost dignity and honor and I don’t mean in a perspective of society but in a perspective to ourselves. We just simply, constantly lie to ourselves pretending that it’s for the better and we can’t possibly operate any other way.
Of course I’m one of them and I’m starting to see a bigger picture more clearly.
I have also noticed, and it has been pointed to me that lots of people hide behind spirituality. They move away from the conventional world but at the same time they start building a new corrupted structure called spiritual world. They bring all their pain with them and form another believe system to suit their situations. How to avoid that trap?
Truth is the only answer. No control, no hidden agenda, no judgment, compassion.

I need to go deeper into the meaning of these words.

I simply can’t believe it! It’s 7.15am and I’m fully awake. I watched the 2nd film and then did some yoga. I feel so good. No headache, no sleepiness, fresh mind and body. I don’t even long for bed. I’m fully rested. This is very strange and I love it.
My best night so far. I’m so content and in such a good mood. I can almost feel my good vibrations.
I hope I’ll still feel like this after my 8am nap.
I didn’t even eat much this night, only an apple. Usually I kept eating to keep awake. This time I had a light supper, just an avocado and a tomato, a tiny bit of coleslaw and a few sticks of pepper. Simple, easy.

I’m really sticking to my 100% raw food and that really helps. I feel better and lighter and I’m sure this way of eating complements the uberman schedule.
The need for hot food in the winter has vanished. It’s really astonishing considering my constitution (vata) and tendency to getting cold. I always felt cold but not now. This is a huge revelation to me. I’ve noticed that few days ago, I don’t feel cold anymore the way I used to. I hope that won’t change and I will be able to enjoy winter on just raw food.
This autumn I had lots of cooked food, very healthy but cooked, like sweet potatoes and other root vegetables roasted in coconut oil, or cooked millet.
I don’t have an urge anymore to do so.
Something changed within me, for better. Something clicked as if my body went to another gear, smooth. I hope to stay like this from now on.

Polyphasic sleeping Day 1a

2008-12-23T02:58:00.000Z

Freedom comes when you take power over yourself and that’s what I’m trying to do at all times. The main thing is to take responsibility for all my doings. There is no one to blame and moan to about anything. That’s that.

I have just realized now that I haven’t been kosher on the uberman schedule for more than three days. I have been doing this experiment for over three weeks now but I haven’t managed to stay on the clean schedule for more than 3 days.

That’s it then. From now on I’m going to start a new count. 1a – ‘a’ is a new block in counting the days, so tonight will be my ‘1a’ day, that is of course if I stay awake all night. It’s 2.46am and I feel great but no surprises here as last night I slept for a long time…
The real test will be tomorrow. Unfortunately I’m not going to be in m house. We are going to London to visit my sister in law. She lives in a very big house and I’ll have to persuade her not to put any alarm in the night because I will need my freedom to move around. If that won’t be possible I shall try to stay in the bedroom but that would be very restricting so I might just simply go to sleep, which means I will have to start my counting again, this time with 1b…
I’m taking books, laptop and knitting with me but if I will be struggling that won’t be much of help. The best way to combat sleep is to do something physically like cleaning, ironing or cooking. I won’t be able to that there so I need to think about finding something else but what? I’ll take my yoga mat with me.

Polyphasic sleep day 22

2008-12-22T10:03:00.000Z

Great! ……….I slept last night, I slept from 2am – 9am. Am I disappointed in myself? I don’t really know. I don’t want to be but I think I’m.
Last night after my midnight nap I felt groggy and tired. I couldn’t d anything like reading or writing or even listening and I didn’t feel like cooking or cleaning so at 2am I decided to have another nap, which of course became a full night sleep.
I woke up at 6am refreshed and ready to go but my husband wanted a cuddle so that was a great excuse to stay in bed and just blissfully fell asleep again.

Will I go on? Yes, I will. Now I know that the pattern I established is not safe and there might be weak moments I just have to decide: to give in or fight?

The night before was excellent and I was beautifully alert. I though that this is it. I’ve cracked it and now my nights will be smooth and clear. Well, I was wrong.

What made me to fall asleep and not fight was heaviness in my body. I just wanted to lie down and rest not necessarily fall asleep but unfortunately as soon as I lie down and close my eyes I’m gone.

I had fantastic vivid dreams but not lucid. I’ve been waiting for lucid dreaming since the experiment began but no luck. I’m doing affirmations and commands before my naps to remember the dreams and wake up in my dreams but still failed to do so. I shall keep trying. I had lucid dreams before and I know if I practice enough they will come.
The problem is that before my experiment I would lie down and do some energy work, then affirmations and some other exercises to induce lucid dreaming and out of body experiences but now with the napping system I can’t do it. I have to find another method.

I need to do meditation and energy work when I’m alert and in a very uncomfortable position. That should help.

So today I’ll skip the noon nap and start again at 4pm. I expect that this night will be clear and I most likely will feel very good but the following night there might be trouble…let’s wait and see.

polyphasic sleeping three weeks on

2008-12-21T08:52:00.000Z

Friday
Yesterday and last night went pretty well but I’m not in a good mood now. Well, I’m crossed with myself. I keep oversleeping! Last night I was waking up as normal until 4am nap, where I slept till 6am. Then at 8am nap I slept till 9.15am. I was a little bit crossed then and was wondering if my alarm was working. Yes, it was.
At midday nap I overslept again! This was too much. I’ve checked the alarm clock on my phone again, no it wasn’t working…
I found a proper alarm at home and didn’t oversleep 4pm nap. I was happy to be on track again until…8pm nap, yes, I overslept again. I set the alarm wrong…grrrhhhrr…

Saturday
I must say this was the best night ever. I was fully awake at all times! Yes, I know it was easy because I’ve accumulated all this sleep in my oversleeping naps but still, I managed to keep the loop going with no crisis and my midnight and 4am naps were as they should be, short and sweet. I wasn’t feeling any grogginess. At 5am I was marking assignments!
I’m now about to have my 8am nap. I just did some yoga and feel so good.

Lately I have been a little bit off my track, not myself. I slipped, became too lazy and mentally I started doubting myself. Last night I did some inventory of myself.
The year is closing down now and I felt uneasy. I looked into my goals from 2008 and lots of them were on a go but some were just neglected.
I also decided to get to the bottom of my uneasiness and find out why I was becoming more lazy and unmotivated. My eating habits were creeping back, I started eating more and more cooked food. Something was not right. Last night I decided to get to the bottom of this.
I think I found the answer. Three years ago when I went full time in my job I was very happy and at the same time this gave me the excuse to stop searching for what I really wanted from life. I never worked full time in one place. I never had a job from 9-5 so I wanted to try it. I forgot my promise as a little girl that I will never do that.
However the prospect of full time job, the status and the salary was very tempting and rewarding. At the same time I was diminishing the true voice inside me nagging me that this is not it. I ignored it and kept telling myself that this is my true calling. I loved teaching and I still do but the institution was starting to eat me up.
This year I became more and more irritable with myself. I started noticing more and more how this job was restricting my freedom. The fact that I’m working for an institution was really bugging me. Still, I kept telling myself that I needed to do my job because I need to be there for the kids, I’m the one to help them.

…just got up from my 8am nap, 10 min before the alarm thinking that I overslept again as I felt so refreshed. To my relieve it was only 8.20. Great.

New decisions. I know for certain that I need to quit that job and regain my freedom. The polyphasic sleeping will help me as I have more time on my hands to do what I really want. I’m going to practice more affirmations and the law of attraction. I believe, from now on, that next year I won’t be teaching in the College. I know that this sounds almost impossible because at the moment we are mostly living from my salary but anything is possible as long as I change my belief system.
Freedom is on my way. Abundance is on my way. Creativity is on my way.

Polyphasic sleep day 18 and 19

2008-12-19T09:08:00.000Z

Wednesday/Thursday
Last night I overslept again. I came home quite late and after shower and a small bite to eat I went for my 8pm nap and….woke up around 10pm. I wasn’t happy. I tried to stay up but t was very difficult so I decided to o to sleep and wake up around midnight.
Oh, the bed was such a pleasure. I enjoyed every minute of it and didn’t get p until 5am. I was disappointed in myself and seven surprised because the night before was perfect, I was fully awake and enjoyed myself. To be honest I think it’s down to working too hard.
At work I missed my 8am nap but did the other two.
Then in the evening I went with my family to watch my older daughter Christmas Show at her school. The show was excellent and very rewarding. However it started at 7.30 and that meant missing my 8pm nap. Well, I couldn’t do anything about it. I just missed it. We came back home around 22.30 so I had a shower and managed to say awake till 23.30. I took the nap. Woke up and stayed awake until 20pm. I took another nap. I knew I had to catch up for my missing nap.
Now I’m just about to have my 4am nap. The night wasn’t very easy but I managed. As soon as I feel very sleepy I just go downstairs and start pottering around. This helps a lot and then I can go back to reading or listening.
I slept on and off from 4am till 8am.
It’s 9am in the morning and I’m at home! Now the true experiment will start.

Polyphasic sleep day 17

2008-12-17T01:11:00.000Z

I overslept last night. I don’t know what happened but after my midnight nap I went straight to sleep again and woke up 1,5h later. I was so spaced out I couldn’t walk straight. I was totally gone. There was no point to struggle and I went to sleep again. I slept through till 4am and then lazed about for another 30 min. It felt so good, just lying in bed. I really miss it.
I went to work as normal and then followed my routine. I felt good and didn’t have any trouble falling asleep. In fact I had very good quality naps.
Let’s see what’s going to happen tonight?

I have just woken up from my midnight nap and feel fantastic. I think I know why I overslept yesterday. Well, my day/night is divided into 6 sections and I just realized that in all of them I’m fully engaged working or driving/preparing food, etc. I do not actually rest properly and that’s what missing from my routine and that’s what my body and mind are craving for.
This evening for a change between 8 pm and midnight I just watched a movie with my family, talk to my husband and my daughters and just chilled out. The result is great.
I also realized that I’m constantly ‘locked up’ in a building. I don’t have enough fresh air. I drive to work in a dark and leave in a dark, I come home and stay all day inside.
That’s winter for you. The only time I can go for walks is at the weekends. Summer would be so much better as I could go for walks early mornings at around 4am! That would be great. Never mind.
I just got two days of work and then two weeks of holidays so I’ll make sure that I’ll have plenty of fresh air. Apparently the weather is changing for better and on Friday it’s going to be sunny and 10 degree. Hurray! Friday is my first day of holidays.

Meanwhile I sneak at least once in the evening to the garden and stand bare foot on the grass breathing, 7-14 long powerful breaths. That helps a lot.

Polyphasic sleep day 16

2008-12-15T23:55:00.000Z

Last night was clear and smooth. I enjoyed myself listening, reading and knitting.
In my drive to work I was fully awake, not a trace of tiredness. At last. I must admit I had a cup of weak green tea before I left so maybe this has given me a boost for my drive.
However after my 8am nap at work I found myself struggling again. This was new to me as that never happened before. Eventually around 10am I gave up and had a coffee. That was such a relief but I was also worried if I would be able to go to my midday nap without any problems. Luckily I went into a deep sleep straight away and woke up refreshed and in a good mood.
During the rest of the day I was alert and in full control. I have only three day of work left but there are lots of deadlines to meet. I even took some work home and already worked on it for couple of hours.
It’s almost midnight and I’m looking forward to my nap. I must say what I miss the most is relaxing in bed and meditating. I can’t do it yet as I just fall sleep straight away. Today before my 8pm nap I was trying to do some energy work but I just went to sleep. Mind you it was just 10min before my nap so no surprises that I went out as soon as I hit the pillow. I was trying to do meditation sitting up but again as soon as I close my eyes I’m gone. Hopefully that will improve with time.
I’m starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. More often I have some moments of total bliss and brilliance.
Doing the uberman schedule and working full time is quite tiring so I’m looking forward to holidays.

Polyphasic sleep day 15

2008-12-15T03:59:00.000Z

3.52am. The night went well but I had some mini crisis, it started at around 2am and at 3am became quite strong so I had to occupy myself physically/domestically. It wasn’t that bad but I thought I would be through with this by now.
Anyway, it’s time for my nap now and then preparation for work. I’m anxious again about my driving. I just hope I won’t have to fight with the urge to sleep again.

Breakthrough

2008-12-14T21:03:00.000Z

Friday night was my best night since the beginning of this experiment. I felt great, awake and in control. In the morning I let myself go and lazed about. I stayed in bed and had several small naps in between reading and surfing the net. Eventually I jumped out of bed at 10am and went for my dance step aerobic class. I performed really well and my concentration level was also very high. I remembered the routine with no problems and physically was very strong too.
The day went by really well mainly cooking with my husband the for the dinner party. As I said earlier I didn’t have a very good nap at 8pm not the extra one at 10pm. Throughout the evening I’ve developed very strong headache. I wasn’t drinking any wine or eating any heavy/cooked food but still felt awful.
Eventually at around 2am after reading more about polyphasic sleep I decided to let go completely and sleep as long as possible.
I slept till 8am, woke up and slept again until around 10.30am. I felt better but my head was still hurting. I felt like I had a hangover but from what? I felt better and better as the day progressed and eventually went for a nap at 4pm.
This was a breakthrough. I had great quality nap and felt like a newborn baby after that. My next nap at 8pm was also very good and now I feel myself again, fresh and focused with no pain anywhere. I’m full of energy and creativity. At last!
I don’t know what to think about this weekend but for sure I went through some kind of breakthrough and stepped to the next level. It has been two weeks now so hopefully the worst is behind me. I just hope that from no on I will be able to improve every day.
It has been a hard and difficult journey so far and any set back could mean the end of it but I don’t want that of course.
This night will be the test and I’m looking forward towards it.

Polyphasic sleep day 14

2008-12-14T20:44:00.001Z

The dinner party finished at 1.30 am. It was great fun but it also messed up my schedule. I tried to fall asleep at 7pm before the arrival of the guests but it didn’t really worked. I also managed to sneak out at 10am but still didn’t hit the deep sleep. There was also the noise factor.
At 2am I went for a nap and now am just about to go again for my 4am nap, however I’m thinking about changing my tactics and just go for a long sleep. Apparently this is very common and recommended just to let go and from time to time sleep as much as possible. Since I can only stay in my bedroom and read or write I might as well go to sleep. The house is full of guests and I don’t have a freedom to move around.

Polyphasic sleep day 13

2008-12-14T03:29:00.000Z

Friday
Last night I managed to survive until 4am but it was extremely difficult. After the nap I fell asleep again until 5.10. It took me while to come back to my full senses and I left for work at 6.30. The drive was fine until about half way through and then the usual fighting against sleep started again. It wasn’t that bad though.
During the day again I felt awake and fresh. Now my body is slowly shutting down just before the nap. It’s a good sign but I felt it today quite strong nudges from my body.
I did my ashtanga class tonight.
It’s Friday and I’m happy as there is no more going to work for two days. I can relax at home and gather up my strength.
On the other hand there is a slight problem because we have a dinner party tomorrow. I will have to take an early nap at 7.30 just before the guests arrive and then snick out at midnight again if people will be still awake. This is not too bad but the problem will be with finding space for myself during the rest of the night as some people are staying overnight and all rooms including the living room/kitchen will be occupied.
There is only my husband’s study left and I won’t have a freedom of wondering to the kitchen and pottering around as usual in the moment of crisis.
I just have to hope for clear body and mind so I can stay awake in one place.

Anyway I’m just after my midnight nap and feeling good. I volunteered to pick up my daughter and her boyfriend from a night club around 3am! It’ll save them money for a taxi back home.

So far so good. It’s 2.19am and I’m still going strong. I’ve just watched the last episode of ‘Survivors’ on BBC I Player and I didn’t feel asleep! My head is not completely clear but I’m very awake. That’s definitely a progress.

4.38 am. I just woke up from my nap and feel great! My head is clear, no sleepiness, no drowsiness but instead very conscious expanding feeling.
This is my best night so far. I stayed alert until 4am and yes I picked up my daughter and her boyfriend from a night club at 3 am. All is good.

Polyphasic sleep day 12

2008-12-13T00:46:00.000Z

It’s not easy. Yesterday morning after 4am nap I did more yoga and prepared lunch. I was good. I took extra nap at 6am in preparation for a long day ahead. Unfortunately I didn’t jump out of bed straight away and therefore I fell asleep again. I woke up 6.48 and I was a zombie again. The journey to work was the worst ever, I couldn’t stay awake. I was literally falling asleep as I was driving. Not good.
At work I took 8am nap and after that slowly started coming up to my senses. The rest of the day was great.
I have woken up from my midnight nap disappointed. My head was very cloudy and I just wanted to go back to sleep. The clarity, which I had yesterday is gone without a trace. It is only 1am and I’m already struggling to be awake.
I was going to watch a movie but that’s out of question. Yes, I’m going to do some more cooking.
Only 1.10 and it’s a real struggle. I have been dozing off while writing this blog?! I need that nap at 2am.
It’s almost 2am. I did some delicious cucumber relish for my raw samosas for dinner party on Saturday. I couldn’t do the ice cream because I need mango but that can be done tomorrow night.
I’m more awake but still I’m going to take that nap in a few minutes. I have been working very hard this week and need more naps at night. During Christmas holidays I will wean myself off these extra naps.

Polyphasic sleep day 11

2008-12-11T03:35:00.001Z

The fog has lifted! Wow, I can’t believe it, my head is crystal clear. I was seriously doubting that this moment would come. The last couple of days were a real struggle. It was so difficult to wake up from the nap at night, my head was very heavy and I felt like a zombie but I managed to keep going knowing that this must end.
Here it is. I just woke up from my midnight nap and I’m totally refreshed, as good as new. For the first time I feel really awake, clear and full of energy. If that’s going to continue then I’m definitely going on.
I had a very busy day at work and came back late again, around 10pm. I felt good during the day, no side effects, no tiredness. I managed to have good naps except the last one at 8pm so when I came home I immediately went for a nap. I woke up a little bit spaced out but it was within my norm and now I’m after the midnight nap.
I have no idea if this wonderful feeling of awakening will last and if so how long so I’m enjoying it catching up on my private work.

“As you go about your daily activities, from the moment you get up in the morning up to the time that you go back to sleep, constantly imagine that you are smiling inwardly at your outer reality as you go about your daily activities. Imagine that you are smiling from the deeper recesses of your mind, originating from within your heart area, and that you are projecting that happiness and smile outward through your eyes and expression. No matter what the circumstances are. You will find increasingly that your eyes will be smiling and so will your mouth, that will often curl up to a slight smile.

At the same time imagine that your heart constantly expresses a great inward smile filled with pure joy of being alive, no matter what.” Nick Good’s little crafty exercise…

2am, starting to feel a little bit tired. I could do a 2am extra nap but I think I skip it and go to the kitchen to prepare some raw food instead.

3.20am that was a good move. I made some raw cashew cakes. Tomorrow I make some ice creams.
I also did standing postures of ashtanga yoga and that was very rejuvenating.

Day 10

2008-12-10T23:02:00.000Z

This was my best day ever. I felt wonderful during the day. At work I was sharp, focused and in good spirit. My naps were of a highest quality so far, deep and sound. I had a long day and came back home around 10pm. My 8pm nap at work was the weakest but it didn’t affect the drive home. I was fine. When I came home I had a shower and wanted to rest in bed for a while. Actually I really miss that, just resting in bed. I can’t afford to do it yet as it sets me of to sleep again.
I put myself in a sitting position and dosed off for about 30min but not into a deep sleep. I was just hovering. I then cleared the kitchen and felt good.
My midnight nap wasn’t straight forward again. I was woken up by a dishwasher. It always beeps loudly when it finishes and it did woke me up after 15-20min. So I decided to take another nap. I set up my alarm for another 30min. and woke up 1h later! I slept throughout the alarm!? That never happened before. I woke up only 30 min. later so again it was another double act nap. I slept for an hour. I felt groggy and very sleepy but decided to do some yoga and it helped!

Day 9

2008-12-10T23:00:00.000Z

It wasn’t easy today. I felt tired at work, clouded and sleepy and I didn’t have much energy going in me. Only after 4pm nap I felt refreshed and so much better, which was good considering I had to drive home. I did yoga at home, had something to eat and relaxed. I was watching the ‘Celestial Prophesy’ move on computer in bed. Bad move as I was starting to fall asleep and for the second part of the film I was semi conscious.
After the midnight nap I fall asleep into another nap again. This was because I didn’t jump out of bed again trying to recall my dream. Luckily I only slept another 25 min. and woke up by myself. I had another dream, so it was literally a double act.
After 4am nap I did yoga and that helped a lot. I think I might start doing sections of yoga after every nap to help me to wake up better. I’m really good now and it’s 5.24 am. I’m not going to take my 6am nap as I feel strong enough to go straight to work. By the way yesterday morning drive was a struggle.

Polyphasic sleep day 8

2008-12-08T01:02:00.000Z

It’s almost 1am and I’m struggling. I’m surprise, usually this slot goes smoothly and I feel alive. For some reason today is not the case. I feel heavy and tired. I can’t read but writing is better.
For the first time I’m starting to doubt myself. Why am I doing this? Is it worth it? Am I damaging yourself? Is it safe? Why don’t I just forget about it and go back to the way I used to be?
I’m going to work tomorrow, the weekend is over and again I’m a little bit apprehensive about driving. I’m going to take extra nap at 6am as planned.
The other side of me is loving this experiment. I have so much time on my hands. Today my daughter asked me to help her to bake a cake for her friend’s birthday. Normally I would try to get out of it saying that I don’t have time. Now I agreed and even made the cake by myself. I didn’t mind. The time wasn’t an issue here and I enjoyed myself but now I’m struggling a little and want to go to sleep.
It has been a week since I started my adventure.

Time

2008-12-07T13:04:00.000Z

I have been always protective over my time and wasn’t very happy that most of my days were dedicated to full time work. I love my work but it takes all my days. I leave early and come back late only in the evenings I could have some, very little time for myself.
Well this has changed now. Suddenly I realised that my day/night is divided into 6 sections and I only work at my job during two sections. That means I have 4 sections of time for myself! Very strange, I was always interested in the concept of time and how one can stretch it or shrink it. Now I have lots and lots of time for myself.
At the moment I’m still going through the adaptation faze, and although I’m almost through it I think I need to wait another week to finish it.
I still don’t operate fully. I’m not tired but somehow don’t have that energy and enthusiasm I used to have. Everything has slowed down now as if I’m in the slow motion. I stretched the time so it flows slower and I’ve changed my gears, became more relaxed.
I feel like I’m observing more rather than participating. I’m not sure which state I prefer yet. I’ll wait another week and do another evaluation.

Polyphasic sleep day 7

2008-12-07T07:10:00.001Z

I just woken up from my 4am nap and I’m not happy; I overslept! Not much but still, I’m not myself and feel really groggy. I can’t keep my eyes open…it’s 520am

20min. later and I feel a little bit better but still difficult to write. I’m going to have another nap at 6am and then do some yoga.

That was a good move although I still felt groggy after the nap but yoga just saved me. Now I know that I’ll have to put that extra nap at 6am because the period between 4-8am is the most difficult one. I also decided to jump straight out of bed. This is the hardest waking up as the house is cold and I’m cold and just want to get warm under the covers. Our heating is off between midnight and 4am. Another reason I overslept was due to the fact that I was trying to remember my dream…
It feels good, I’ve got a tactic and will stick to it. As I remember Steven Pavlina also had a problem with this period staying awake. He was taking the extra nap for a while. I shall do the same.
Otherwise the whole day yesterday was great apart from that early morning slot but I didn’t overslept yesterday and felt better. However after 8am nap I woke up refreshed and was trying to remember my dream and after about 30min. fell asleep gain for about 20 min. I woke up without the alarm disappointed at myself that I overslept. The room was very bright and I thought it was very late. Fortunately enough it was only 1h later.
I went to my step aerobic class and managed very well. I was not as sharp as I always am but I enjoyed it and finished it not too exhausted.
I also went for a short walk to my local health shop and discovered raw ice creams!!! I was ecstatic and they tasted beautifully. I also bought lots of other stuff to do lots of yummy raw food. In the latest Get Fresh magazine there are some great recipes for Indian food.
The other extra difficult factor is that I’m doing it in the winter. It is very cold at the moment and dark most of the time. In the summer I could go to the garden in the night for some breathing exercises and/or early morning to do gardening.
Never mind, it is as it is and I’m going to stick with it.

Polyphasic sleep day 6

2008-12-06T02:11:00.000Z

Last night was the most challenging of all the moments since I started this experiment. After the midnight nap I stayed awake for couple of hours but then the crisis hit me from nowhere. I was falling asleep, I didn’t have any energy to get up and do something, to fight that sleepy mood. Negative thoughts started lingering around me. i was doubting the whole experiment and felt that there was no point to continue.At 3am I gave up. I was also scared that I won’t be able to drive to work, that I will be that tired for the whole day. I decided to go to sleep for couple of hours and put the alarm clock for 5am. The alarm went off and I set it up for another 30min. I couldn’t get up from bed and only the thought of work, my job, moved me out. I felt so groggy and disorientated, it was an awful feeling, the worst I’ve experienced so far. It took me around 40min. to slowly come back to myself. I was preparing my lunch and thinking about this whole concept.
Strangely enough I was encouraged to go on, something was inspiring me and telling me to go on . Okay, I slipped but I decided to go back to my nap routine. I was planning a list of jobs I could do to keep me awake the next night. I decided to clear up my desk, do some ironing, prepare some raw dishes, etc. Sitting by the computer or reading was out of question.
To my surprise the drive to work was easy and I had the 8am nap when I arrived.
I couldn’t believe it but I felt very good throughout the whole day. Very strange, no foggy head, no tiredness, no drowsiness. I was just having a good day at work. My senses were sharp, my concentration level was high, and I’ve achieved a lot that day.
The drive home was also easy. It is 2am now and I’m doing very well.
At 9pm I watched a movie with my husband, who fell asleep on the sofa half way through. I was looking at him thinking how strange this whole concept is. It was supposed to be me being very tired and falling asleep, it was me who hardly slept since last Monday and here I was fresh and alert.
I feel very good so far and hope the rest of the night will pass without any major surprises. i'm happy to read and sit by my computer.

Polyphasic sleep day 5

2008-12-05T02:08:00.001Z

Day five was very smooth but only in some sections. I felt really great at work. I was functioning as my normal old self and was even surprised that this could be possible. Then I had a nap at 4pm, which was interrupted by a text message. I use my phone as the alarm clock and clearly that’s not a good idea because anybody can call or text and throw me out of my cycle and that’s exactly what happened. The text came right in the middle of my nap. I couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up. I drove back home and that was fine but when I arrived I started to decline, down, and down to the level of a zombie.
This wasn’t good so I took an extra nap at 6pm but it didn’t help that much. Finally just before my 8pm nap I started to feel better. I took my 8pm nap and after that I felt fine, back to normal. I stayed in bed and read the book.
My eyes started to hurt so I did some meditation. Yes I’m realising now that all this exra time now I’m reading or writing on the computer and that’ can’t be good for my eyes and ultimately for my body. My confidence in the success of this experiment is starting to fall. Am I doing the right thing?
It’s winter now and I can’t go outside in the middle of the night, well I can but it won’t be pleasant. On top of that the heating goes off before midnight and 4am so the house gets pretty cold in the night. That’s not comfortable too.
I’ll keep going, I’m determined to do my 30 days unless I won’t see any benefits coming my way very soon.
I just got up from my midnight nap. It was good and I can remember some bits and pieces of my dream. I was fully awake when I woke up and decided to stay in bed for a while; it was soft and warm. I stayed for another 40min. but I didn’t fell asleep. I wasn’t fully conscious and was dipping in and out of this state. I never did fell asleep but was hovering on the edges of it.
Now I regret that because I feel a little bit groggy and down. I started questioning my experiment. Next time I’m jumping out of bed straight after my nap. I have a real urge to go to sleep now but it’s only 2am and my next nap is not until 4am. I will hang on and hope to feel better.
I’m also becoming more hungry and therefore started eating more. When I wake up from my naps I really need to eat. I didn’t expect that. I need to make some raw food snacks. Yesterday in my zombie state I eat some bread!

Polyphasic sleep day 4

2008-12-04T01:19:00.000Z

I’ve made a big decision today and moved from my transition sleep (including core sleep) to classic Uberman polyphasic sleep. I suddenly had an insight today and figured out that I can do it even with my full time day job!
My cycle now is 8am; 12noon; 4pm; 8pm; etc It’s brilliant. It fits perfectly with my schedule.
Today was quite tough during the day. I had that headache and after my noon nap between 2-4pm I felt really tired and drained. It was probably because I didn’t really slept at noon. I found an empty room in the building and laid my mat, I even brought a blanket and a small cushion but it didn’t help. I almost drifted away but I didn’t hit REM for sure.

I then had a nap at 4pm and this same thing happened, no deep sleep. I was worried that I’ll get really tired and I had a 40min. car journey in front of me.
To my surprise I had no problem with the driving, came home, did yoga, had a shower and felt really good. I did some reading and was ready for my 8pm nap. This time I fell asleep and had a dream but unfortunately I didn’t remember it. I still have a problem with recalling dreams. I know it’s a faze because normally I can recall dreams very easily.

The next 4 hours was a bliss. I felt so good. I felt really, really good. I had some salad and read a book for most of the time. I went to sleep with my husband at midnight but I only slept for 20min. So here I’m now, feeling good and refreshed. I had some problems falling asleep because I wasn’t very tired before my midnight nap but luckily I managed to go deep. Still can’t remember my dreams. Never mind, I’m adjusting.
I read some other polyphasic blogs earlier and was surprised that most people had problems with having too much time on hands.
I love it and still don’t have enough but that’s also to do with the fact that I have full time job during the day and I can’t do anything for myself at that time. The extra time at night gives me the pleasure of not chasing time anymore. I used to wait for weekends so impatiently so I could catch up on reading, e-mails, movies, knitting, preparing raw food, and educating myself. Now I can do it all. Wonderful.
I’m a little bit apprehensive how I will feel in the morning, driving to work and going through another day, as this is my first classic cycle. I hope that the transition stage with the core sleep helped me to adapt better and I won’t go through a zombie time.
To be honest I didn’t experienced it so maybe I’m now at the end of the tunnel.

I’m also slightly concerned about tissue repair, which usually happens during monophasic sleep. Will I age faster? I have no idea. I will have to find out by myself. People at work commented that I look very good so far and I’m surprised that I don’t have big black circles under my eyes from lack of sleep.

Polyphasic sleep day 3

2008-12-03T03:21:00.000Z

I thought that day two would be worst then day 1 but it was the opposite. I felt really good during the day. I had a 6am nap and drove to work at 7am. I must admit I was struggling a bit but the journey was safe. I was more alert at work and even did some challenging tasks I thought I wouldn’t be able to do until this adaptation phase will be over. Strangely enough when I went for my noon nap I was not able to fell asleep so I just rested. This was quite a surprise for me but on the other hand I wasn’t that tired in the first place. My next nap was at 6pm at home and driving back from work wasn’t an issue anymore. My journey is about 40min. long each way.
Again I had a lovely relaxing evening and settled for bed at 11pm. Just before I went to sleep I felt a headache coming on, nothing major but it was there. I was wondering if it was to do with my sleep pattern or just dehydration. Three hours later I woke up and it’s still lingering there.
I had some dreams but still can’t remember them very well. I usually recall dreams with no problems but because the sleeping period shrank so much I’m naturally a little bit out of sink. I also noticed for the first time that I had a dream at my 6pm nap too. That’s good news, hopefully soon I will be able to tap into my dreams and even become lucid.

Overall I’d say that my day was better than my night. I really struggled with getting up last night from my core sleep at 2am. Tonight was easier and straight after awakening I decided to do yoga, which helped. My next nap will be at 6am and then I will try again for the noon nap. Maybe I don’t need I anymore? The core sleep and the two naps at 6am and 6pm give me 4hours of sleep in total. Maybe that’s just fine? I know that the polyphasic sleep is about quality not the quantity. However I’m not doing the classic version on this sleeping pattern but I’m close enough so I’m waiting for the benefits…?

Polyphasic Sleep Day 2

2008-12-02T03:20:00.000Z

I’m still going down the stream. All is good. Apparently day two is the worst to overcome and I can feel it. Yesterday was a piece of cake. I did have a nap at 4am and 6am with no problems. I even woke up before the alarm from my 6am nap.
I went to work and functioned all day long as normal, although I felt a little bit isolated from my colleagues, as if they were living in a different time scale. I managed to get my lunch nap and slept through it with ease. It felt good. When I came home I took another nap at 6pm. I felt a bit apprehensive driving home last night and I was toying between having a nap at work before I left or at home. I felt good enough to drive and that was a right decision. The 6pm nap gave me a new boost of energy and my best time yet was that evening. I did some yoga, took a shower and felt relaxed and clear with no traces of tiredness. I went to bed at 11pm for my 3h core sleep. I woke up 20min. before the alarm but felt a little bit groggy.
The house is cold as there is no heating at night and it took me a good hour to come back to my normal state. It’s 3.27am now and I should be preparing for my 4am nap but I’m considering to skip it as I’m just getting to feel fully awake. I will definitely take my 6am nap before going to work. It might feel a little bit risky but if I won’t be coping at work I’ll take an extra nap there. I’m lucky to be able to do that. I have a mat and a blanket and a space for it, where I can be undisturbed.
My mind is still a little bit hazy but hopefully that will go soon. I haven't noticed any changes in my body apart from my muscles. They feel a little bit sore after my yoga.

Polyphasic Sleep

2008-12-01T02:30:00.000Z

It has been a year since i have been on this site! I'm still raw but I made some adjustments to suit my body in different weather conditions and seasons. I shall talk about it in my next post.
I'm starting a new phase in my life. It sounds big and scary and strangely enough I don't call this new phase an experiment, only because I'm adamant that I will succeed.

I learnt about Polyphasic sleep just yesterday and it just rung true for me. It was like switching from vegetarian/vegan to raw food. I didn’t know raw food diet existed as I didn’t know polyphasic life style existed.
I discovered this life style through raw food listening to Steve Pavlina (www.stevepavlina.com), it was a revelation to me. I read the whole blog by Steve Pavlina on polyphasic sleep and decided to try it.
Polyphasic sleep is opposite to monophasic sleep, where you don’t go to sleep for more than 30min. and nap throughout the whole 24 hours. You should aim for 6/7 naps during that time. Amazing concept.

Today is my first attempt. It’s Sunday and I was aiming to go to bed at 8pm. I had a shower at 7pm, and at 7.40 went to bed. I decided to do some energy work and chakra meditation beforehand trying to fell asleep at around 8pm.
My idea was to do a core sleep for 4 hours and then start napping. This decision was purely based on my life style. Unfortunately I’m not the master of my time yet as I work full time. I love my job at the moment but working all day long in an institution leaves me no time for other things (like writing this blogg), so I decided to try a different strategy to transfer to polyphasic sleep. Normally you start with naps straight away and become a zombie for two/three days. I can’t afford that and I didn’t want to wait until Christmas break as I’m so exited and itching to start straight away.

At 8pm I fell asleep with no problems but to my surprise woke up at 8.45! I just had a dream and open my eyes totally refreshed and awake. I decided to get up and change my plan to moving my core sleep to 11pm but shortening it to 3h. that way I would get 2 sleeping cycles of 90min.each. The main point of this is to get full REM sleep, which is the most important sleep for humans to function.
Another surprise ☺ I woke up at 1.55 before the alarm clock went on. Again I was fully awake and refreshed so I decided to write this blogg.
My next phase is switching to naps only so it may be difficult but hopefully my excitement will keep me going. I’m planning to take my first nap at 4am and then another one at 6am. I leave the house to go to work at 7am so that should work well.

Raw Christmas

2007-12-23T10:58:00.000Z

Yesterday I went for my first raw food dinner party. The host was Karen Knowler and the chief Russell James. What a wonderful evening that was. We had a beautiful raw meal, which I'm going to make for Christmas, however it will be just for myself as my family is not raw...yet!
It felt so comfortable to be around people who understood the concept of eating raw food and looking at life from a different perspective, people who are daring to go outside 'the box'.
I landed home at 1.30am (!) sober, inspired, full of ideas and enthusiasm for life. What a change to a ‘normal’ Christmas dinner party where you eat non-nutritious food washed down by alcohol and the next day you feel groggy and have a hangover.
I almost jumped up from bed this morning feeling so exited about the new day. I’m going to update this blogg and combine it with my other raw food blogg/diary I was writing on www.thegardendietforum.

I feel like today is another new beginning. Something changed again, or I could say it feels like another adjustment took place in my life, something clicked again and found its place. Is that another step on my consciousness journey?

Yesterday was a Winter Solstice. That event also had something to do with my way of thinking. Days are going to be longer now as planet Earth changed it position again and started a new journey too.
As the days are going to be longer I can start waking up again. The White Flame within me is waking up to give life to new ideas and new beginnings this year. For me year 2008 has already started with this Winter Solstice.

I also took a beautiful picture yesterday of the sunset. It was magnificent. It was a grey day but just before the end of it the sky cleared and the sun came up in its full glory.

The White Flame

2007-12-19T23:06:00.000Z

As I’m slowing down I’m beginning to feel The White Flame inside me. It’s calm and beautiful. It gives me strength and a sense of worthiness. It’s very reassuring. I do forget about its existence during the day but when I’m relaxed, especially in the evening after yoga, I start remembering it.
It’s strange but I have become suddenly attracted to the colour white, well not white but ecru. It feels good and comfortable so I guess I will be shopping for new clothes soon.
In two days there is a winter solstice and I can feel the change coming. I’m so much more in tune with the nature now. Everything is in a deep sleep at the moment and I’m resting too. It’s time to reflect and stay still. It’s good to just observe the life and watch the time passing by.
Life becomes easier if we get attuned with nature and follow it’s rhythm. It is so simple yet we complicate it so much. Peace out.

Holidays

2007-12-17T22:21:00.000Z

It feels so good to be on holidays at home. I can do what I want and when I want. I decided to fill my days with exercises and as healthy food as possible. It’s going very well but I’m quite tired. Well I do ashtanga, Pilates and a two-hour walk every day so I shouldn’t be surprised when I fall asleep in the afternoon.

Today I was thinking a lot about my job and how I would like to retire in four years. I will be 50 then and my children will finish school.
I don’t know but I always had that strange feeling that my life will change when I will be 50 years old. I can sense the change already now but I know I can’t start anything new, as I’m not ready yet. I still need to raise my consciousness a little bit higher and do lots of reading and research before I decide to be my own boss.
However it’s a good feeling to have that plan. I think for the first time in my life I managed to have a fairly clear plan of what I would like to do and where I’m going. I don’t know yet what exactly that be, but I know I will be there in four years time.
I feel much calmer now and the sensation of rushing somewhere is so much weaker. I must remember that feeling of relaxed body and face. There is time to do everything and I don’t need to rush anywhere. At last I’m beginning to understand my burning desire, this flame inside me, which was destroying me at many times. Of course it was pushing me forward at many other times and gave me strength and power to achieve great things but now I feel I can achieve even bigger things but with calm and serenity and that also means wisdom.
I never thought I could call myself wise, as I never believed in myself. The issue of self-value was always my biggest problem. I’m glad I’m turning the corner now. Is this a new clearing in the forest?

Searching

2007-12-14T17:56:00.000Z

I felt apart today a little after catching up on news, life and feelings with my old friend. I came home and meditated with a crystal on my chest and felt much better afterwards. I'm still searching for my way to be comfortable with myself. I feel that I'm almost there and I can sense the clearing but I'm still in a thick forest. I can see the glimpses of flickering light and hear the music. I sometimes even feel that I found the beginning of the path but it's not the path after all, it's just a little clearing.
I meditated today asking my higher self to descend to this planet earth and embody more with this aspect of myself here, as my mission is to raise my consciousness. I do feel that every day I discover something new and move forward but in the last few days my ego took over, as I was hurt when someone was criticising my work. I got a lot of praises too but I almost didn't notice them. I latched into the criticism more and fed my ego with it. I guess my ego must be hungry by now as I'm trying not to get involved in any drama. I need to work more on my awareness.
I try to remember every morning this sentence "Why I'm here?" but I forget about it so easily. I need to write it on paper and stick it as a reminder on my desk and my bedroom wall. I had this idea of creating a picture of photos and slogans and have it near me at all times so I can remember who I'm and where I'm going.
I have two weeks break now so I might do it and maybe even take a picture and put it on this blogg. I would like to improve the quality of this blogg and enhance it with photos and images so this could be my first step.

Crannbery and chocolate cake

2007-12-09T22:50:00.000Z

Today I made this fantastic cake! I invented the recipe on the spot. I've soaked some hazel and pecan nuts in one bowl and pine kernel nuts in the other the night before. I didn't know what would become of them and now I suffer as I have eaten two slices of that wonderful cake!
I should take a photo of it tomorrow before I eat it all.

I'm slowly trying to set up my raw food blogg but I have been too busy at my day 9-5 job. I need to make some choices but not yet. I still need to do a lot of learning and researching before taking my skills into the corporate world and becoming my own boss. I feel that this decision is getting closer and closer.
It's going to be a fusion of my teaching drama skills combined with spirituality and raw food. I'm creating it right now but it is still in etheric form. I need to put my focus into it and crystallise it. It looks like I'm in the process of creating another Aspect of myself.

Ego

2007-11-03T09:08:00.000Z

Finally I'm beginning to understand the meaning of ancient words "My children know you not that the earth and all that dwells therein is but a reflection of the kingdom of the heavenly Father' in relation to my situation at home, especially with my love one.
My frustration over his way of being mirrors exactly his behaviour and my reaction to it. I create my own world.
It's so simple. Our feelings and emotions together with our thoughts compose our world. If I change my feelings towards my love one and my attitude towards his way of being, feel compassion and love, it will have an effect on him. That love and compassion will be reflected back, the universe will mirror it back.
It's a beautiful concept by which our ancient ancestors lived and which we should adapt in our lives to create peace and harmony on our planet earth.
My goal in life is to unite with Christ and Buddha consciousness, to feel love and compassion towards all living creatures and situations no matter what. To be able to raise the consciousness of our living world I must first harness my ego, which I developed so far in my life. The Ego is the only thing on the way to my goal. However I mustn’t condemn my ego but embrace it and understand its motives. The ego has been with me all my life and I developed patterns and ways of behaviour and belief systems. Now I have to undo it all and learn a new way of thinking, feeling and experiencing life.
I have many tools to help me to accomplish that. Some of them are breathing, yoga and raw food.

Creation

2007-11-02T00:30:00.000Z

I'm so beautifully light at the moment. It's an amazing feeling. It's like all obstacles from my life have been removed and my life is just flowing smooth and easy. I'm not afraid anymore and can embrace everything.
I had a good session with my students today. I really feel that they are learning a lot. I feel so wise and sometimes I wonder where is that knowledge coming from? I just know what to say and see what can be achieved. It's wonderful. Last year I was wishing to work at the University level or Drama School so I can pass my knowledge and develop myself with more joy. I have just realised that I don't have to change my job and find the students but they will find me. They have already found me. I can teach them on a higher level, it's all down to me. I can create. I'm learning more and more about creation every day. It's fascinating. We are creating every minute of our life. The Universe reflects everything we do, our feelings, emotions and thoughts.
Until not so long ago I was in a deep sleep, confused and angry entangled with my thoughts, shaken by my emotions, not in control of my feelings. Now I discovered that there are 3 elements, which can help me to create my life. I have to re-learn how to live in a conscious and creative way.
How? It's simple but it will take time to put it into action. Thoughts are powerful but need to be harnessed. Through yoga and conscious breathing I can clear the stream of thoughts. I'm trying to be aware of my thinking process and reduce it to minimum. There is so much clatter going on, so much traffic, which needs to be directed and controlled.
Emotions ruled my life and I was certainly not in control of them but they were in control of me. I was acting mainly through emotions. They had such power over me! Now I'm learning how to be aware of them and keep them in at the right distance.
Feelings were just sweeping through me like weather. I felt all the emotions very deeply but didn't know how to direct them so they were just passing by.
Now I'm beginning to understand the power of thought, emotion and feelings unified together. If I want to create something I just need to think about it, bring the emotion to the surface, usually love, and evoke the feeling to touch it and sense it in my imagination. That is the secret of creation!

Sleep

2007-10-29T22:53:00.000Z

Last night I almost managed to sleep in awareness. Usually I go to bed, read few pages of the book and off I go into a deep sleep, turning on my side or my tummy, face squashed against the pillow.
Last night was different.
I was trying to sleep on my back for some time now with some difficulty I must say. However I have improved a lot and yesterday I slept all night on my back. I also went into a deep meditation focusing on breathing when I closed my eyes and decided to fell asleep. I was breathing for a long time and went almost into a trance. I felt good and relaxed and I knew I could go on like that for a whole night. Fortunately or unfortunately I fell asleep but I was waking up few times during the night. I was aware what I was doing. I was also exited about getting up in the morning and going to work. I was wondering if I would be tired the next day because according to gained experiences so far I should be exhausted.
I woke up fresh and energised at 6am in the morning and I fell asleep I think between 1-2am. I worked all day without one yawn and now I'm still awake at 11pm not feeling tired at all. Amazing. I also did some deep breathing exercises outside first thing followed by ashtanga yoga for 30min. Not bad. I hope I can keep that pattern going for some time.
I wonder how I feel tomorrow?

Breath

2007-10-29T22:34:00.000Z

I have been aware of breathing for some time and read a lot on this subject. Yoga has helped me to develop my breathing and information from books and tapes helped me to be more aware of my breath. However yesterday for the first time I was consciously breathing for almost the whole day. It was difficult but very rewarding. I was trying to breath slowly and into my lungs not the tummy and it was challenging.
Today things were different because I went to work and I have lost myself in it. I still remembered from time to time about my conscious breathing but not very often. I managed to go outside once and stood by the tree in the sun. That was lovely.
I also took my friend out of the office during lunchtime for a short walk to the park. Very rewarding. I shall do that every day, well except when it's raining.
When I'm aware of my breath I'm focused and calm. It seems that I do slow down but that's only an illusion, I'm just more focused and organised. I'm simply much more aware of myself. Tomorrow I'm teaching so I'll try to stay focused or just be aware of my breath.
Breath is life. Our life starts with the first breathe and finishes with the last one. We take it for granted, we are breathing with no awareness. Unfortunately we are doing lots of things without awareness in our daily lives. We are eating without putting any attention to food often watching TV, reading newspaper or getting involved in a dispute at the dinner table.
I was a very good example of that. I specially liked watching TV and eating lying on my sofa in the living room. What a comfortable, blind state of being. I was basically not present. I came to this planet Earth to live a conscious happy life; meanwhile I was sleeping, living in an illusion and wondering why life is not fare.

The ego

2007-10-28T00:11:00.000+01:00

I have taken another huge step today in raising my consciousness and understanding who I'm on this planet and what is my purpose of life. I have already figured it out that my life purpose is to raise my own consciousness and therefore help others to realise who they are and leave the mass consciousness.
Today I've understood more clearly the ego. Ego is identification with my own body, with this world, not the planet Earth, not Gaia but the world of illusion, our reality. Now, we project our reality through our thoughts. This is very important to understand. Our thoughts create our world and that world is the illusion we live in. We identify ourselves with this world and therefore suffer greatly. We over identify ourselves with our bodies, our possessions and the opinions of others.
How silly is that! Finally that is so clear to me.
This is so simple and I heard it so many times form so many sources, it is so simple. Life is so simple. We make it so difficult and complicated; we overcomplicate it with our dramas, our self-inflicted sufferings. We get caught in it, as we are so blind.
We simply forget that God has created us and we project ourselves on this planet as humans to realise God, to be creators, to manifest God. I was told that so many times but today finally it makes so much more sense!
How many times I've heard that saying that we are One? Now I understand, we are One creation of God and we manifest ourselves on this planet in the forms of bodies to create, to manifest God. Why don't they teach us this at school?
It's so simple.
We are the essence of God and we project ourselves as forms (humans) on this planet. The essence is One bur there are many forms. Form = ego = duality, fear, separation and illusion.

Raw Food

2007-10-26T21:56:00.000+01:00

I used to love eating, everything and there was no food I didn't like. I've eaten a huge variety of foods in my life but when I was starting to wake up I gave up meat. Then I was searching for a perfect diet. I've tried lots of different approaches wanting to be healthy and loose some creeping pounds, which I was gaining more and more as I was getting older.
Finally two years ago I found it. A raw food book landed in my hands and I couldn't put it down. That was it and I was hooked. I’ve decided to try it for a week and two years later I'm still with it.
There is a huge difference between my first attempts of eating raw and what I'm eating now. I've learnt so much about healthy eating, my body and become more spiritual. I didn't realised that food has so much to do with spirituality.
At the beginning I wasn't eating only raw food as I was transitioning and occasionally had cooked meal, mainly when I was socialising. It was also very difficult for me to give up wine and cheese, which I finally did this September.
Now I'm mainly eating superfoods and I'm still researching and experimenting with this amazing way of eating.
When I'm talking about raw food diet I don't mean carrot and celery sticks but delicious dips, crackers, raw pizza, raw lasagne, soups and best of all, raw chocolate, all of which I make myself.
Today my cupboard is stocked up with goji berries, chocolate chips and powder, hemp seeds, flax seeds, spirulina, green algae, seaweeds and variety of oils.
I'm fortunate enough to have a large garden so I have my own supply of salad and other vegetables.
I'm growing my own food and nourish my body and at the same time I also nourish my soul. Raw food gave me so much clean, light energy, abundance of new energy. I sleep less and I'm not tired anymore. My head is clear and my heart if full of love.

2007-10-22T19:54:00.000+01:00

This blogg is my personal encounter with this Universe, which I would like to share with other people on a similar journey. Everybody on this planet Earth is on the road, their own road to enlightenment, and their own journey to find out who they are and what is their mission as they travel through the Universe.

After 45 years on this planet I have realised that my job, not the one you go to every day and get paid for but the life job, the Earth job is to be a teacher, a teacher of consciousness. Myself I have still a lot to learn as I have just entered this magical journey with being aware of where I'm and what I'm doing. Until now I was following this road but not knowing where it leads and what am I suppose to do. The road was taking me somewhere, I was passing the crossroads taking the turnings by off chance, jumping the paddles, following it step by step going left, right, passing by many signs not knowing where I was and what I was doing most of the time.
About 7 years ago I started to see a small light in a distance, something changed within me and I realised that all my walking time on this planet I was asleep and not only in this life. I was here before and I was in a very deep sleep following that dark, foggy road, swimming in a soup of heavy human consciousness.

This was my first step, now I have just made another one. On September the 18th 2007 our planet Earth made a step too, a huge quantum leap step. This time I was awake and jumped on it with open eyes.